5 Things I’ve watched recently!

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If it’s too hot out there for you, I suggest you check out my latest “5 things I’ve watched recently”! It’ll cool your boots, man.
Halloween Ends – Despite the ludicrous story and dumb ending, I mostly enjoyed this last installment of the beloved franchise. Could have used some more gory kills, but it was better than expected.
The Babysitter – Another “Home Alone” horror comedy where the kid takes out a bunch of devil-worshiping murderers. Hummed along a fine pace, had a couple of good jokes and deaths but there’s really nothing here.
Pretty Baby – Ai Carumaba! I can’t imagine this being made today. Lolitaesque to the max. Quite uncomfortable and disturbing. I can see how controversial this was and is and was. Happy I finally saw it. Don’t ever need to see it again. Men are so creepy.
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) – Never saw this back in the day – slashers weren’t really my thing – but this one was a nice pleasant surprise! A bit shoddy, the least scary bad guy but some fun kills, ample gratuitous nudity and some great lines:
“What don’t you like Valerie?”
“I dunno. She drinks too much milk”
“It’s not the size of the mouth, it’s what’s in it”
And I really want a Space Baby t-shirt! Bonus points for only being 76 minutes.
Slumber Party Massacre (2021) – Not bad, sometimes fun, remake of the 1982 “classic”. I watched this immediately after viewing the original and enjoyed it enough. It was a cheeky take on the 1982 film with the gratuitous nudity – but dudes instead of the ladies this time around. The shower scene was pretty funny and the movie made me want a Space Baby t-shirt even more!
John Wick 4 – What can you say about one of the best action films since The Raid? So many great set pieces, so many times to suspend your disbelief. Canoe blows his way through 3 hours of carnage and nonsense. Good times.
The Wolf of Wall Street – I can’t think of another film, another film as excellent as this one, that has one of the most unlikable protagonists (made even more unlikable as this story is based on a real slimy dirtbag guy) ever. It’s Goodfellas-esque in it’s approach and it’s a bit long but it is great cinema. The ludes-car-phone scene is one of Scorsese’s best. Top 5 of his films for me for sure.

5 Things I’ve Watched Recently!

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Buckle in! It’s time for 5 things I’ve recently watched!

 

She Said – Excellent dramatization of the events leading up to the fall of that monster Harvey Weinstein (and the start of the #Metoo movement). Such a gross POS. Well-paced, real names used throughout, great acting across the board. I love these types of films – All the President’s Men being the gold standard, of course.

The Frighteners – Always wanted this to be better. And it never is! Lots of great stuff to be found here but it’s a little too silly for my tastes and the effects don’t hold up all that well. Wanted more Combs!

Rocky IV – Pretty dumb sequel (one of many) has The Stallion fighting a big scary meaty Russian. Includes 3-4 montages and a horny robot. Podcast coming soon!

Psycho III – Oh, Norman! Fun, if not dated, continuation of the story. Kudos to Anthony Perkins for keeping this character alive. And he even directed it!

Dinner at Eight – Pretty great, fun, sad at times, intense and even a bit shocking for the time, film about various folks gearing up for a dinner party. Much recommended!

A Bigger Splash – One wacky vacation! I think that maybe White Lotus watched this. Weird, beautiful, thrilling, funny!
Now wrestle naked Ralph Fiennes in the pool again! Take 6!

Operation Fortune – Pretty fun, if not generic, Guy Ritchie number – so generic in fact that I had to look up the name of the film for this review! Has all the trademarks – good action, quippy one-liners, Statham, Grant. Aubrey Plaza steals the show from everyone! A good enough time-waster for a Monday night.

The All-Time Scariest Scenes in the Movies!

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So I was chatting with friends the other day about the most frightening scenes in the moves. Fun conversation. So I thought I’d share a list of what I think are the all-time scariest scenes. Agree? Disagree? There’s lots of great horror films out there but I only included 10. Your favourites?

1) Jaws

The opening segment with the camera going through the water with the great John Williams music ending with that poor swimmer being dragged under and eaten. Still raises the hair, not only on the back of my neck, but my entire body!

2) The Haunting (1963)

First night in the magnificently creepy house. Nothing seen. Some ghostly force pounding on the walls and the doors with the two women terrified on the bed. Such great use of sound and camera angles. Classic.

3) The Exorcist 

The camera gliding up the stairs to the closed door knowing that there’s something horrifying on the other side. Then the door opens, and the doctors see Regan flying around on the bed. Then she assaults them. Also, the opening in Iraq could have made it into this spot as well as Karras’ dream with the flash of the ghoul. Terrifying.

4) Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The metal door in the grim house is flung open, Leatherface pummels a hapless teenager with the hammer, drags them into the room and slams the door. So intense.

5) The Descent 

Sure you can look at the monsters and the carnage that ensues, but for me the first half of the film is the most terrifying when the women descend into the caves and especially the part where they must go underwater not knowing what’s on the other side. No thanks.

6) It Follows

Could have picked any number of scenes but the one that boiled my potatoes takes place in the house with the big freaky guy on the other side of the door. If you’ve seen it, you know what I’m talking about.

7) Rec (original)

The ending when the reporter finally makes it to the top floor only to find what lives up there. Done in night-vision and close-ups. Jiminy!

8) The Ring (original)

Of course, it’s when she climbs out of the TV. Took my breath away. Still haven’t got it back.

9) Mulholland Drive

Dude re-telling his nightmare in the diner and then they go out back…

10) Exorcist III 

The nurse in the hallway. One long uninterrupted shot, building tension and then…brilliant.

There’s plenty of others – the lawnmower scene in Sinister or the ball bouncing down the steps in The Changeling – pops into my mind – but these ones have always haunted me.

5 Things I’ve Recently Watched!

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To celebrate the 3rd day of spring, here’s 5 things I’ve recently watched!
Fire of Love – Lovely doc about a couple of volcanologists, their life and death. Some great, sexy, hot volcano footage as well!
Fall – Pretty ludicrous outing finds two attractive women stuck atop an impossibly tall, poorly-maintained tower of sorts. Nice photography and as someone who doesn’t care for heights, it had me on the edge of my couch for a bit.
Cat O’ Nine Tails – A young Argento (his first film!) dips his toes into the frosty giallo genre. Quite striking to look at, as usual, but the story is a bit muddled. Worth a look.
Viking Wolf – Why can’t anyone make a half decent werewolf movie? This ain’t it. Virtually no blood or gore, dodgy cgi and crap puppets. Oh well….
Tar – After a slow start this thing just hums along. Loved it. Cate B. was superb. One of the year’s best.
Scream 2 – OK Screamy sequel. Fun to see so many young fresh faces that will become old, worn mugs.

5 things I’ve seen recently!

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What a lovely Monday day! What a lovely day to share 5 things I’ve recently watched!
I’ll Be Gone in the Dark – Outstanding, if not grim and sad, miniseries about one woman’s obsession with finding the Golden State Killer.
Halloween II – What a dreadful sequel. Such a waste of Jamie Lee and Don Pleasence. Boring, hardly any gore. Just dumb all the way around.
Road House – Man this movie is sooo stupid. I love it. Podcast coming soon!
Ball of Fire – Well that was fun! Nice screwball comedy from Howard Hawks starring one of my faves, Barbara Stanwyck. Gary Cooper might have been a bit miscast but the snappy banter and great pace made this one a treasure.
Boston Strangler – Pretty good crime procedural. Not too sure why they chose the washed out, muted, boring colour palate. And the ending is quite muddled. But it was good enough for me, and my cold-rattled brain, to enjoy.
Apocalypse ’45 – Solid end of WWII documentary. Lots of great, awful footage.

Best o’ the Year!

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I managed to watch 220 films in 2022 (woah!) and here’s my top picks for new things I viewed…

Since we closed up shop in the summer, the access to films I want to watch has somewhat dried up. Streaming isn’t much help. On the upside, I went to the theatre more times in 2022 than I did in the previous 3 years combined. Or so.
1. Nope – So many things going on here and I loved all of it – aliens, social commentary, tragic kid stars, mad monkeys. My favourite Jordan Peele film. So far.
2. X – Loved this sleazy, violent, exploitation throwback. Right in my wheelhouse. The prequel, Pearl – also released this year – is quite good as well (but not quite as good as X) and I’m looking forward to Maxxxine quite a bit.
3. EO – What an amazing film. Brilliant cinematography, unreal sound design and music. Good looking donkey. Sad, funny, disturbing. Did I mention the handsome donkey?
4. RRR – Wow! What a blast! This movie had everything! Fighting! Dancing! Singing! Animals! Action! Political Commentary! Violence! Loved it! All 3 hours of it!
5. Triangle of Sadness – After a sluggish first act, boy does this thing kick into gear for the rest of the film. And boy, does this director hate rich people. Loved it! Only complaint – needed more vomit.
6. Bad Luck Banging or Looney Porn – Ai Carumba, Romania! What’s in the water over there?! What a strange, very explicit – and I do mean very – little number. Teacher has her sex tape go to unwanted places. Spends the first 3rd wandering around Bucharest – fascinating. Then we get a strange history lesson. Then a meeting with the parents. And the ending! Not for everyone for sure but I grooved on it.
7. Banshees of Inisherin – Loved this quiet, weird, sad, hilarious take on friendship, loyalty, loneliness and donkeys.
8. Lamb – Well that was unexpected. Least you know about this one going in, the better.
9. Everything Everywhere All at Once – Need to watch this one again as it’s fast and furious and about family (what?). Pretty wonderful stuff. And nice to see hotdog fingers finally represented properly onscreen.
10. Benedetta – Modern nunsploitation film from Paul Verhoeven! Yes please! Naughty and sexy!
11. Red Rocket – Washed-up and broke porn star returns to his hometown hoping to start a new life. Problem is, nobody wants him there. Funny, strange, awkward. Love me some Shawn Baker (Florida Project).
These were on my original list seeing as I didn’t catch them until 2022 but I’ll just slide them in here….
Summer of Soul –Outstanding piece of forgotten history. Many amazing performances, Hello 5th Dimension! My only complaint is that I wanted more.
The Sparks Brothers – Wow. What a great doc. I knew absolutely nothing about this crazy fun band (couple of brothers really). Heard a few songs here and there but never liked them. I think I may be a Sparks fan now!
Honorable mentions:
Only the Animals
Licorice Pizza (didn’t’ see it until 2022)
Men
The Innocents
Speak No Evil
Emily the Criminal
And here’s my picks for the best in the boob-tube (why it called that? Or used to be called that. I’m old)

Best TV of 2022

Succession – Everyone’s favourite wacky family is back for more corporate hijinks. Best comedy on the tube.

The English – Not perfect – pants fall down a bit in episode 5 – but enough great stuff here to make this cool, weird western a top pick.

Severance – Love me some weirdo dystopian sci-fi.

Andor – Best Star Wars thing since the original trilogy. That said, there is not a lot of competition.

Gangs of London – Loved this ultaviloent gang (in London) show from the guy that made The Raid films.

House of the Dragon – Liked this prequel Game of Thrones thing quite a bit. Good dragons, incest and vicious children.

The Dropout – Good true story of scams and Steve Job turtlenecks.

Barry – Finally got into this awesome show. I even watched one episode twice in a row.

Only Murders in the Building – Love this nice little whodunnit with a great cast. Selena Gomez  outshines grizzled veterans Steve Martin Short.

The Bear – Very happy I never worked in a restaurant.

 

Honourable mentions

Dalhmer

Slow Horses

Yellowjackets

Sandman

How to With John Wilson

 

 

The Black Dog Video Advent Calendar!

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Hey everybody! It’s the Christmas time of the year again. And to celebrate, we’re presenting you with our Christmas advent calendar! Twenty-five days of movie recommendations! One a day till the big day (Christmas)!

Are you sitting comfortably, then we’ll begin.

December 1st

The Ref (1994) – Denis Leary is a cat burglar (they still call them cat burglars?) who has to take Kevin Spacey (gulp) and Judy Davis hostage after a botched robbery attempt. Wickedly funny, maybe a little too cynical for some, but this goes down like a warm lumpy cup of nog. We did this for our podcast a couple of years back.

December 2nd

Day of the Beast (1995) – Fun, crazy Spanish film from nutso director Álex de la Iglesia finds a priest teaming up with a Black Metal aficionado and an Italian connoisseur of the occult to commit as many sins as possible to prevent the coming of the antichrist! Yes you read that right. Strap in for some wild times!

December 3rd

American Psycho (2000) – Americans make the best psychos. And Christian Bale is best American Psycho (despite being Welsh). This film is both horrifying and hilarious. Just like Christmas! Get more Huey Lewis in your life. American Psycho, what would the holidays be without it?

December 4th

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) – Shane Black likes Christmas. Seems that all of his films, directed or just written, are set at Christmas. This is no exception. Geena Davis rocks it all out as a hit-woman with amnesia. Everything is cool until her past comes back to haunt her. Much action, mayhem and Samuel L. Jackson ensues. A ton of fun (was a podcast episode a few years ago as well)!

December 5th

Silent Night (2021) – Odd little duck from England about a family gathering at some estate for a nice Christmas gathering. Bummer that it’s also the end of the world. Comedy and horror make for a fine cocktail and this one goes down easy.

December 6th

Silent Night Deadly Night (1984) Little Billy is bummed out after watching Santa murder his parents. What’s a boy, raised in an orphanage by an abusive nun, going to do? Don’t be naughty!

December 7th

The Silent Partner (1978) – Cool Canadian Christmas Caper finds Elliot Gould being chased around by Christoper Plumber (a sadistic sob) after stealing the cash that Plumber wanted to steal. Good times in old Toronto!

December 8th

The Night Before (2015) Seth Rogan, JG Levitt and Anthony Mackie spend Christmas Eve looking for the mother of all Christmas parties – the Nutcracka Ball. Pretty funny (usually when Rogan and drugs are involved) Christmas tale to make you laugh.

December 9th

Bad Santa (2003) – Billy Bob’s make the best Santas! Loved this cynical, gross, and hilarious “drunk and horny mall Santa plans a caper” film. Watched this with my mother-in-law years ago. That was a mistake.

December 10th

8-Bit Christmas (2021) –  Directed by Michal Dowse (Goon, Fubar, All Gone Pete Tong), this charming, and at times quite hilarious, tale of a kid who wants a Nintendo for Christmas – think A Christmas Story but set in the late 80s and replace shotgun with Nintendo  – hits all the right notes (maybe a little schmaltzy near the end but that’s OK). A nice surprise.

December 11th

Christmas in Connecticut (1945) Time for some classic holiday fare! Fun and witty and lovely film about mistaken identity, food, G.I.s and other fun Christmas things! Barabara Stanwyck! Sydney Greenstreet! Others! Enjoy.

December 12th

Rare Exports (2010) – Awesome Finnish fun film has Santa being dug up from the bowels of a mountain. Then kids start disappearing. Then some nasty elves appear. Good Christmas mayhem ensues.

December 13th

Gremlins (1984) – What a terrible pet a Mogwai would be! No daylight. No water. No late night snacking. What a boring movie this would be had they followed the rules. Good time, occasionally dark Christmas fare. Just did this for our podcast!

December 14th

A Christmas Carol (1951) – For me, this is the best version of this oft-told tale. Nobody can hold an old timey candle to Alastair Sim’s Scrooge (No, not even Henry Winkler or Scrooge McDuck)). And such a great supporting cast. I’ve seen this probably close to 30 times and it always brings a tear to my eye and a smile to my face.

December 15th

Die Hard (1988) – What would Christmas be without Bruce Willis crawling around Nakatomi plaza thwarting Hans Gruber and his minions? Saw this at the Rio last year and it still holds up incredibly well! And I also picked this one so I could use this fake poster.

December 16th

Better Off Dead… (1985) – My good buddy, John, requested this little fun film from the 80s starring John (no relation) Cusack as a love-lorn dude (his specialty back in the day) who gets dumped just before Christmas and contemplates suicide. Yes, it’s a comedy. And heads up for that menacing paper-boy!

December 17th

Black Christmas (1974) One of the original slashers! Canadian Bob Clark (who also did A Christmas Story – sad we never got the crossover A Black Christmas Story) gives us one of the creepiest, most terrifying horror films of all time. And it’s an all-time favourite around these parts (if only I could get the rest of the family to watch it with me). Great wintry Toronto locations, scary camera work and Art Hindle in a cool fur coat. Pass on the remakes. Accept no substitutes!

December 18th

The Thin Man (1934) – Let’s (by let’s I mean Nick and Nora Charles, not me or you, although…) drink and solve a murder case at Christmas! And drink! This film is too much fun. Love it.

December 19th

Better Watch Out (2016) – Fun, twisted little “terrorize the babysitter at Christmas” type of horror/comedy film. And why did it take until 2016 for a Christmas horror film to be called “Better Watch Out”?

December 20th

Bell Book and Candle – Despite having Jack Lemmon playing the bongos and James Stewart looking way too old (he kinda always looked old) for Kim Novak, this little Christmas witch story is quite delightful. And also has the best cat in all of the movies (probably)!

December 21st

Desk Set (1957) – Fun and wacky hi-jinks are the order of the day in this charming Hepburn/Tracey number about the computerization of a TV network’s research department. But at Christmas. Lovely.

December 22nd

Inside (2007) Ultra-gory (yes please!) French film finds a woman fighting for her (and her unborn baby’s) life on Christmas eve when an unhinged woman breaks in with the idea that the baby should be hers. Did I mention it’s gory? Cause it is! Insanely so.

December 23rd

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) – I put off watching this film forever thinking it would be some schmaltzy lame Christmas tripe. I was quite wrong. What I did not expect was a fairly dark, almost Twilight Zoneish, film dealing with suicide, greed and how capitalism might just destroy the world. I’ve seen it several times and it never fails to bring a tear or 6 to these tired, cynical old eyes.

December 24th

Krampus (2015) Our film for this Christmas Eve (probably) will be this fun little horror/comedy about the legendary monster who is accidentally summoned to ruin Christmas. Nasty ginger-bread people, crazy gnomes and a great big Krampus adds up to some chilly hi-jinks!

Halloween Month 2022!

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October is finally here! But why am I still wearing shorts? We can talk about the end of the world another time because here’s where we discuss horror films! As we’ve done in years past, Black Dog Video is happy to recommend a lovely horror movie a day for you to enjoy for the month of Halloween! Sad to say we’re not open anymore for you to come in and rent these titles but they can be purchased through our website or slide on over to Video Cat on Cambie to rent them!

If you’re sitting comfortably, then we’ll begin…

October 1st

Nope (2022) – Might be my favourite Jordan Peele film (so far)! Is it a horror film? Sci-fi thriller? You decide! It certainly has some fine horror elements to it (I’m looking at you, Gordy). And a UFO thing that, well, I’m going to give any spoilers. If it’s still playing in the theatre, check it out there. I’ve seen it twice so far. Dig in.

 

October 2nd

Nosferatu (1922) – From brand new to brand old! I saw this a few weeks ago at the Rio where it was accompanied by a live band. It was pretty great. Even though it’s not that scary anymore, after all it is 100 years old, there were a couple of shots that were actually quite shudder inducing (the music really made it). It had some nice creepy vibes and Max Shrek is a weird looking ghoul. Good, classic, stuff.

 

October 3rd

Demons (1985) – The perils of going to a haunted movie theatre somewhere in the bowels of Rome (?). Moviegoers are trapped in a theatre full of hungry zombie-like creatures. Oh and there’s a helicopter involved as well. Good fun this one is! We did this one for a podcast episode a few months back!

They will make cemeteries their cathedrals and the cities will be your tombs!

 

October 4th

Prince of Darkness (1987) Under-appreciated gem from John Carpenter! Some college kids and scientists find a big container of goo in an old church. Not drinking that I said to myself. They should have listened. Oh and has Alice Cooper killing a guy with a bicycle. Loved this one!

 

October 5th

 

X (2022)  Ti West is fast becoming one of my favourite horror directors (check out House of the Devil, The Innkeepers, Pearl – came out this year and is a prequel to X) and I loved this outing from earlier in the year! Some crazy kids go to a remote farmhouse to make a porno (it’s the 70s!). Unfortunately for them, the creepy old couple that lives there aren’t down with the dirty. Mayhem ensues.

 

October 6th

Haunt (2019) Had this in the shop for a couple of years but was always put off by the box art. Thought it was about clowns. Tired of clowns. Anyhoo, watched this last night and was pleasantly surprised. Good pacing, tense atmosphere and sweet gore. It’s not going to change the genre but it’s impressive enough for a good night out. Bunch of kids go to an extreme Haunted House on Halloween and are bummed to find out that all the mayhem is real.

– note – I will be away for a week and will pick up this list upon my return. Until then you guys can fill in the blanks with your horror picks!

 

October 13th

Alright, I’m back (I had to go to NYC for a week) with more lovely horror film recommendations for the month!

Phenomena (1985) – Quite a fun, weird, bug-riddled ride from Dario Argento, featuring a young, brave  Jennifer Connelly as young girl who, for some reason, can communicate with insects. This helps her solve a horror mystery at a Swiss boarding school. The late great Donald Pleasence is along for the ride bringing with him a terrible Scottish (Swiss?) accent. Good times.

 

October 14th

Phantasm (1979) – Anyone who knows me, knows I love me some Phantasm. I still remember seeing this on late night TV in the early 80s and it freaking my crazy beak. It’s such a fun, weird, highly-imaginative ride. There’s nothing like it. I have “The Ball” sitting on my mantle at home. Might watch this again sometime soon!

 

October 15th

Burial Ground (1981) Let me preface this by saying this is NOT a good movie. Terrible actually. Slow moving, lousy looking, non-threatening zombies (except this ones that throw knives or wield scythes). Bad acting. Crap production values. Why am I recommending it then? Well it’s truly bizarre. We have creepy weirdo, 25 year-old Peter Bark, playing a 12 year-old and he steals the show (especially when he gets scared and wants to suckle at his mother’s bosom). Your jaw will be on the floor. But you have been warned – this is not a good movie.

 

October 16th

Speak No Evil (2022) – A couple goes to Holland to hang out with some folks they met on vacation. Things don’t go very well. Not at all. An insanely tense, unnerving, uncomfortable, grim little number. Loved it (despite a few issues I had with it).

 

October 17th

Terrified (2017) – Creepy AF film from Argentina finds some folks trying to figure out what the weird, scary shenanigans are all about in a neighbourhood in Buenos Aires. If you haven’t seen this one, give it a shot. Nice surprise.

 

October 18th

Sleepaway Camp (1983) – One of my all-time favourite 80s horror films. It’s not scary but it is hilarious adn entertaining as hell! So many things – the outfits! the baseball game! the swearing! the mustache! the hotdogs! that ending! Get your friends together, crack a couple cold ones, and dig into this “masterpiece”!

October 20th

The Beyond (1981) – Lucio Fulci’s masterpiece (imo) finds a woman inheriting a house only to find it sits on a portal to hell. Crazy things happen! Lots of spiders! Funny story – when we bought our house, I was told it also sits on a portal to hell. I paid extra for that.

 

October 21st

Rosemary’s Baby (1968) – The Devil stole my ba-bay! Might just be a perfect film. Everything about this hits on the right notes. Great cast, setting, pacing, cinematography. Everything. Probably Polanski’s best work. If you haven’t seen this, get it in your eyes before it’s too late!

 

October 22nd

The Void (2016) – No, not the “Noid”, that guy you can avoid. But check out this weirdo Canadian gory effort (practical effects, people) where a cop delivers a dude to an understaffed hospital and then strange things start happening. Good fun.

 

October 23rd

Carrie (1976) – There’s been a lot of Stephen King adaptations, some good, some not-so-good, some great.  In my not-so-humble opinion, this is one of the best. If not the best. Bad moms can lead to bad life choices. Love this film. One of DePalma’s best as well.

 

October 24th

I Saw the Devil (2010) – A sadistic serial killer murders the pregnant wife of a sadistic cop. Sadistic game of cat and mouse or killer whale and seal hunting, entails. Not for the faint-of-heart, the easily-offended, the oft-craven, the squeamish, or folks with soft sensibilities. This Korean number is brutal and nuts and intense. It’s also excellent.

 

October 25th

House of the Devil (2009) – It’s devil week here at Black Dog Video Laboratories and up next is this fine slice of throwback horror from Ti West. Broke college gal takes a babysitting job at a weird, creepy farmhouse. Need I say more? Enjoy, you devils, you!

 

October 26th

Oculus (2013) – Who would have ever thought that a movie about a haunted mirror could be so darn good and scary? Mike Flanagan did, that’s for sure. Between him and Ti West, the horror genre is in pretty good hands at the moment.

 

October 27th

Men (2022) – A woman moves into an estate in the rural English countryside still grieving from the death of her husband. There she meet an assortment of creepy men. Maybe a little too on the nose with the symbolism (eating the forbidden apple from the tree in her front yard, anyone) but this decent into hell and terror is ripe for the picking!

 

October 28th

The Brood (1979) – What’s a horror list without a Cronenberg film? This early weirdo, gross-out number finds Oliver Reed as an unconventional therapist, Samantha Eggar as his patient with a creepy secret and Art Hindle wearing a big coat. It also feature murderous deformed children. What more do you want?

 

October 29th

The Sadness (2021) – Some sort of plague rocks Taiwan, making everybody go crazy and commit the most depraved and deplorable acts they can imagine. Pretty fun, disgusting, gross, offensive piece of insanity. I liked it! It’ll get you right in the eye. Not for everyone – you have been warned.

 

October 30th

 

Sinister (2012) Science nerds tell us that scientifically speaking, Sinister is the scariest film ever made. That’s up to debate of course (but not according to science!). What it is is a pretty darn good horror number (if not an easy pick) and contains some fairly disturbing scenes. Ethan Hawke finds some scary home movies in his attack. Should he watch them? Science says , yes he should. I love science.

 

October 31st

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) – It was a tough choice to pick a final horror film for the month. It was between this and It Follows (which I adore). But TCM won out as it’s an all-time classic and one of the best, most disturbing and grim horror films ever. And it still is! There’s been a lot of imitators and remakes etc but none can hold a candle (made out of human fat) to this one!

Have a great Halloween everyone. Thanks for playing along!

 

 

Dylan’s worst to best films of 2021!

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Here’s the 52 films that Dylan saw last year (almost one a week!) and how they ranked in his brain!

 

52. Zack Snyder’s Justice League
Zack Snyder’s extended wet ego-fart of a film. At 4 hours, this should be called Justice Lag.
51. Army of the Dead
Actually worse than Justice League but at least it’s not 4 hours long.
50. Venom: Let There Be Carnage
Let there be garbage.
49. Mortal Kombat
Fatality.
48. Reminiscence
Ironically, it’s forgettable.
47. Black Widow
Delayed due to lockdown and I think I preferred lockdown.
46. Cop Shop
Interesting premise that goes nowhere with stylish moments but overall boring and stupid.
45. Belfast
Tedious, go nowhere snore-fest with little story and lots of Van Morrison. Will win best picture because it felates “the magic of the movies”.
44. Furious 9
They missed a trick by not having this one have Vin Diesel drive back in time to run over Hitler and calling it “Furious Nein!”. Would have been more believable than what we actually got.
43. The Stand
An excellent book that they just can’t ever seem to adapt properly. This is easily the biggest disappointment of the year.
42. The Many Saints of Newark
No gabagool in this fridge. Pointless Sopranos prequel that hardly features Tony at all.
41. Dear Evan Hanson
A fucked up musical of a fucked up story of a fucked up kid played by a fucked up adult.
40. Godzilla Vs Kong
It could have been much worse.
39. The Matrix: Resurrections
It could have been much better.
38. The French Dispatch
Wes Anderson stopped making movies and started making “Wes Anderson” movies.
37. Ghostbusters Afterlife
Who you gonna call? Nost-algia!
36. Nobody
Pretty good action flick that scores no points for originality. Bob Odenkirk caries this one. Anyone else and it wouldn’t have been as interesting.
35. The Suicide Squad
Enjoyably juvenile but the constant gory violence wears thin after a while. Still it’s ballsy and very original. In your face Jared Leto!
34. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the 10 Rings
Great martial arts in an otherwise cookie cutter Marvel mess. Awkwafina is the most annoying character since Steve Urkel.
33. Night Raiders
The little Metis sci fi thriller that could. This Hunger Games meets Canadian colonialism has my full support despite issues with pacing and editing. It’s not perfect but damn it has spirit.
32. A Quiet Place 2
Shhhhh…It’s more of the same. But the opening sequence is awesome.
31. House of Gucci
Dynasty meets Chef Boyardee. Cheesy and hilarious but I’m pretty sure it was trying to be serious.
30. Percy
Interesting true story about the Canadian farmer who went up against Monsanto. Quiet and restrained telling of a story that could easily have been cliche and corny.
29. Jungle Cruise
A fun ride
28. Cruella
Much more fun and fresh than I was expecting. Terrific soundtrack.
27. Luca
These Italian fish monsters are more believably Italian than the entire cast of House of Gucci.
25. Des
David Tennant is terrifyingly downbeat in his horrifyingly accurate portrayal of notorious London serial killer Dennis Nilsen. The banality of evil on full display.
24. Worth
Run of the mill 9-11 biopic but Michael Keaton is great as always.
23. Pray Away
Infuriating documentary about the Christian hell that is gay conversion therapy. This shit is still happening, people.
22. The Fight Before Christmas
Everything I despise about the holidays in the form of one insufferable, entitled, smug, rich asshole in a Christmas sweater ruing the lives of his neighbours. But hey, it’s Christmas!
21. Free Guy
So much smarter than I expected. Fun fun fun!
20. Don’t Look Up
Ham-fisted Liberal soapboxing but I laughed a lot despite myself. It’s not as profound as it wants to be but it’s still an entertaining watch.
19. Summer of Soul
Excellent doc about excellent musicians.
18. Anthony Bourdain: Roadrunner
Made me miss the man even more.
17. No Time To Die
Farewell, Mr Bond. One of the better Craig Bond films which makes it an above average Bond film.
16. The Green Knight
Weird, creepy and haunting. It stays with you like bloody dirt under your fingernails.
15. Sound of Metal
Technically this is a 2019 film but we only got it here last year. Damn did I love this movie. Unconventional on every level with a career best performance from Riz Ahmed. Superb.
14. Midnight Mass
Stephen King- reminiscent horror series that’s refreshingly free of jump scares in favour of patient mediation on mortality. People criticize it of being “too talky” as if that’s a bad thing. The talky-ness really worked for me.
13. Lamb
Just plain weird but I’ve never seen a movie like it. Somehow it’s horrifying and sentimental in equal measure.
12. The Night House
Surprising little supernatural horror flick with a lot more hidden in the shadows than it first lets on. Very interesting art direction and cinematography keeps things just this side of bizarre and believably haunted.
11. Stillwater
Matt Damon puts away his charming smile and dons a dusty blue-collar ball cap in his captivating depiction of a blue-collar American father in France attempting to spring his daughter from prison.
10. The Last Duel
This movie is very very good but nobody went to see it. Great story, great direction, challenging story with one hell of a great fight scene at the climax. This is old school filmmaking at its best. We need more films like this.
9. The Sparks Brothers
Who are these wonderful, genius weirdos and how did they make such great music for decades without me having ever heard of them? I’m hooked on Sparks.
8. Barb & Star Go To Vista Del Mar
Funniest film of the year and laughed throughout both times. Charming, original and colourful.
7. Spider-Man: No Way Home
The second best Spidey movie and one of the best Marvel movies. Loads of fun!
6. Dune
My most anticipated film of the year. If it handed ended so abruptly it might have made my #1 spot but I’m holding out for part 2 and look forward to viewing them both as one 4 hour masterpiece.
5. Licorice Pizza
PT Anderson’s most charming film since Punch Drunk Love. Completely original.
4. Bo Burnham: Inside
Never before has one man done so much with so little. What Bo does with clever camerawork, creative lighting and masterful editing is genius, all from the confines of his garage. And the songs are catchy and hilarious.
3. Dopesick
Infuriating, multi-faceted take on the opioid crisis that puts a human face on the epidemic and the blame squarely on those most responsible on every level. Fuck you, Sacklers. Your name will never be untarnished.
2. West Side Story
The sheer balls to even attempt this after the recent run of musical movie flops. It’s a home run. Exciting, thrilling and moving night of old-school musical cinema. Flawless choreography and filmmaking and the classic music sounds even better. Too bad the lead was a bit of a dud, the rest of the cast excel.
1. Last Night In Soho
Goddamn I loved this movie! This is the most immersive and moving experience I had at the movies all year. Edgar Wright’s latest opus is a head spinning, hypnotic and immersive experience through the world of 1960’s London that took my breath away over and over again. It has its detractors, but for a few issues in the third act it’s otherwise perfectly realized and executed. Bonus points for being a whole original property from this generation’s coolest director.