I’m not too sure how many of you fine folks are familiar with the Fox Theatre on Main St. It used to be the most disgusting, putrid porn theatre that I’ve ever had the displeasure to set foot in (not that I’ve sampled many porn theatres in my time). A number of years ago (12?) a couple of friends and I made an attempt to turn it into a some-what legitimate part-time art-house/rep theatre, The Criminal Cinema. We took it over on the weekends, showed some cool cult films, sold beer and had fun with it. Unfortunately, it didn’t fare too well. As mentioned, it was a part-time experiment. The problem was that the other 4 days a week it still operated as a porn theatre. Every stereo-type of the old perverted dude still haunted the place during the week (and would show up every weekend looking for their smut fix). Yes, I’m talking fat guy with stained tank-top and suspenders holding up soiled track pants. I’m sure he wasn’t wearing any underwear either (try to scrub that image out of your mind). It was just too gross in there for people to come to our shows. We even tried handing out mini garbage bags to place on the foul seats but that just highlighted what a dump the place was. We closed it down after a couple of months. The only thing that was left behind was this fabulous mural in the woman’s washroom of teen heartthrob, Scott Baio, that was painted by our very own Black Dogger, Aliza.
With the recent announcement that the folks behind the Waldorf were set to take it over, I got to thinking about the mural with the hopes that they would keep it and all it’s awesomeness. It was even mentioned in a few articles that I read about and I think they said it was something cool and they hoped to keep it. Then I saw this photo and it looks as if some ass-hat has ruined it. Such a bummer. For shame.
Those cats have their work cut out for them trying to revive the building. It needs a complete sand-blasting, nose to tail. Take a look at these photos, but be warned, they are not for the squeamish or faint of heart. I couldn’t believe it got worse than when we were there, but I was wrong. I was very wrong.
New Releases for Tuesday July 9th
Admission – Comedy that finds the lovely and talented Tiny Fey as a college admissions officer who reconnects with the lovely and talented Paul Rudd who runs an “alternative” type of school. Is that gifted kid that’s lurking around the school Tiny Fey’s sprog she gave up for adoption years ago? Hmmm…Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD88JpNEQz0[/youtube]
Boy – Michael Jackson-loving Boy getting to know his estranged dad who returns home to find a bag of money he buried somewhere years ago type film from New Zealand. Whew! Supposed to be marvelous! [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwqfR8g-Qow[/youtube]
Dead Man Down – Good looking action film has good-looking Colin Farrell as the right-hand man of some criminal guy being seduced by good-looking Noomi Rapace who wants to do some kind of revenging. If Hitchcock and Tarantino had a baby it, not only would it be fairly gross and disturbing, but it may look a bit like this flick. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WKmnAcMTKM[/youtube]
Everybody Has a Plan – Yes, everyone has a plan. Mine is to eat some potato salad and prod the cat with a fork. Viggo Mortensen’s is to assume the identity of his dead twin brother in Argentina. Does he get more than he bargained for in doing such a thing? Maybe he should have just followed my plan? [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8RZUFrLzqU[/youtube]
The Gatekeepers – Doc about former heads of Shin Bet, the Israeli Security Agency. Something tells me that there won’t be a lot of laughs in this film. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kpk71yrQUQM[/youtube]
The Host – This has nothing to do with the fine Korean monster movie. This one, for better or for worse, is from the author of Twilight. It concerns the plight of waxy-looking humans who are being taken over by some aliens or bugs or evil dust bunnies or something. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNeCnKKHGE4[/youtube]
My Awkward Sexual Adventure – Very good (from what I hears) Canadian comedy about a dude who’s terrible at doing the sex who enlists the help of an exotic dancer to help him gain experience in all things of a sexual nature. He embarks on a naughty journey into the world of strip-clubs, S&M, sexy massage parlours, rusty trombones, Cleveland steamers and who knows what else. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Tw-FF4-Fxk[/youtube]
Pickin’ and Grinnin’ – A couple of plucky, loveable loser brothers embark on a road trip for one last shot at musical redemption. Much humour and maybe even a life-lesson or two, I presume, ensue. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tXzgkARxYI[/youtube]
A Simple Life – Great little Chinese flick about a “free-spirited” maid who suffers a stroke and them moves into an old folks home. Sounds hilarious. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCD00LLZmys[/youtube]
Spring Breakers – Harmony Korine (Kids, Gummo) kinds tries to go mainstream with this trashy piece of trash cinema about four girls who get in over their heads during spring break. James Franco shows up as a sleazy, corn-row haired, silver grill grinnin’ idiot who wants everyone to “look at his shit”. Part fun, part gratuitous pointlessness – maybe that’s the whole point of spring break (which, to me, looks like a level of Dante’s Inferno)? Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv-z5jp2t3M[/youtube]
This Girl is Badass – Martial arts Thai film featuring the star of the awesome flick Chocolate. Don’t know the plot, doesn’t matter. For those of you who like their asses in the realm of kicked. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3mI_nQJBZE[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3mI_nQJBZE[/youtube]
Old Stuff Just In!
Adventure Time Season 1 – A human boy and his dog brother set out for adventures in the Land of Ooo. No, it’s not a documentary.
Coming Next Week
Hell on Wheels
Bad Kids go to Hell
Endeavour Season 1
Bullet to the Head
Under the Bed
Recently Viewed and Recommended
Call the Midwife
Looking for a new animal to be your favorite? I think that I can help you out…[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5FEj9U-CJM[/youtube]
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