Beautiful Singer
Me: “Sorry, I couldn’t get a ticket for your evening concert. They were all sold out.”
Gus: “Aww, but now you won’t get to hear my beautiful singing voice!”
Archive for month: May, 2013
Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending June 3rd
So I’m hanging out with my sprog, Swanson, the other night when all of sudden my eye swells up, turns red and starts drooling everywhere! WTF? My wife says it’s probably Conjunctivitis (Pink Eye in layman’s terms). Great. I had a weekend ahead of me that included hockey and a tequila party at a friend’s house. Scrub that. I went to the doctor the next day and she says, yep it’s probably Conjunctivitis. How did this happen? I was just sitting there. What diseases, viruses and bacteria are floating around out there waiting to invade and infect our sad, hopeless bodies? It’s really amazing that we haven’t all been wiped out by any number of horrible afflictions such as Bird Flu, Swine Flu, Mad Cow Disease, Walking Corpse Syndrome, Unicorn Mystery Malady, Exploding Head Syndrome, Blue Skin Disorder, Fish Odour Syndrome, Alien Hand Disease, Andromeda Strain, Captain Trips, Spattergroit, Synaptic Seepage, Falling Down Disease, Imminent Death Syndrome, Spontaneous Dental Hydroplosion, or Hot Dog Fingers! If that Soderbergh documentary Contagion taught us anything, it’s that we can be wiped out out at any moment by any number of things.
I don’t feel so good….
We had such fun with our late charge amnesty over at Cambie St. last month we’re gonna throw it down at Commercial. Starting Tuesday the 28th and running till next Monday, bring in a donation for the food bank and we’ll absolve you of any and all late charges that you might have accrued. Please no goat brains in milk gravy.
New Releases for Tuesday May 28th
Bachelorette – Riding on the coattails of the over-rated Bridesmaids comes this comedy about 3 bridesmaids (see, told ya) who wreck their friend’s wedding dress and then have some wacky adventures trying to fix it. It has Kirsten Dunst and Lizzy Caplan so it has that going for it. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=or82cwcywD0[/youtube]
City State – Icelandic crime story that finds a guy taking on a crime syndicate that killed his child. And you thought Iceland was all hot springs and moonshine. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2BTjLGBLIg[/youtube]
Dark Skies – Horror-alien invasion thing creeps it’s way into a seemingly normal family’s lives and starts messing with their minds by doing things like stacking their dishes, cause that’s what aliens enjoy doing I guess. Maybe they have some form of OCD? Scares and maybe a case of Alien Hand Disease follow. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8iLp1xQtPQ[/youtube]
Generation Um – Sex, drugs and sex are the order of the day for Canoe Reeves and his lovely friends as they sleaze their way around New York. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIsTAgS4DgY[/youtube]
The Kick – From the director of Ong Bak and Chocolate (both among our favorite martial arts films) is back with more kick you in the face, groin, neck and spleen mayhem. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSCUvEhPe60[/youtube]
Longmire Season 1 – Fine TV drama about a Wyoming sheriff dealing with the death of his wife and other dramas. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MO-ZrF2HJjY[/youtube]
Coming Next Week
ABC’s of Death
Breaking Bad Season 5
Funeral Kings
It’s a Disaster
Last Ride
Escape from Planet Earth
A Good Day to Die Hard
Identity Thief
Warm Bodies
Recently Viewed and Recommended
Longmire Season 1
Upstream Colour
Mama
Silver Linings Playbook
Side Effects
Sound City
Cloud Atlas
Central Park 5
For today’s guffaw I give you this little ditty. It will be especially humorous to those of you who have children… http://www.happyplace.com/24092/convos-with-my-two-year-old-reenacts-conversations-between-a-dad-and-his-daughter
Copyright © 2013 Black Dog Video, All rights reserved.
Our mailing address is:
Black Dog Video
Cambie Street and/or Commercial Drive
Vancouver, BC V6H 3J1
Canada
Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending May 27th
My apologies for the tardiness of this week’s newsletter. I hope that you weren’t desperately clutching your computer in anticipation waiting for this thing to magically appear. If you were, thanks! The reason it’s so terribly late is we had a major cluster f#*k with our computer at Commercial Drive. Somehow we managed to change all of the numbers in the computer so they don’t match the numbers on the boxes of our movies. You can imagine the chaos that ensued. Imagine it! The almost comical series of events that followed made it so there was no way to change it back which resulted in either re-numbering every movie in the store or commit ritual suicide. After much deliberation we decided on the former. So I grabbed a six-pack and ventured into the mess last night at 11pm emerging at 3 am, a little drunk and a lot tired. Hopefully we’ll get it all back to normal in the next few days. Until then, please bear with us.
Just one more…then I can go home…
New Releases for Tuesday May 21st
Beautiful Creatures – This time around it’s a bunch of sparkly teen witches (not too sure if they actually sparkle) stirring up some angst in a small southern town. Jeremy Irons is along for the ride for some reason. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9rjhB7KWEc[/youtube]
Comforting Skin – Strange sounding local fare about a desperately lonely woman who is drawn into a destructive relationship with her tattoo, which moves around her body and talks to her. Yes you read that right. Maybe some sort of cautionary tale about the evils of tattoos? [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV5PumdFNK8[/youtube]
The Last Stand – Leathery ageing lesbian Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to the big screen after years of screwing up California in this comedy action thing. He plays a “small town sheriff” with a confusing accent who has to stop some bad guy with a fast car. Directed by the guy who made I Saw the Devil, so for that reason alone, I’ll watch this. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS-FyAh9cv8[/youtube]
Manborg – “He’s more machine than man now!” Kind of a Canadian cheapo Robocop thing. Looks right up my alley! Stop looking up my alley! [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBHau4HeTZY[/youtube]
Parker – Jason Statham is Parker – a thief with ethics who’s out to kick the ass of the dirty double crossers who, well, double crossed him. Don’t get in his way! Unless you’re J-Lo, then by all means, get in his way. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcoG6NwxEF4[/youtube]
Side Effects – Is this really Soderbergh’s last movie? Really? He keeps threatening to quit and I really wish he wouldn’t because he makes such fine thrillers like this one. Rooney Mara’s life spins out of control when the drugs she’s taking for depression have, let’s say, unforeseen side effects. Some shaky plots twists almost unhinge it in the later stages but it’s a fine ride nonetheless. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSvF-A4_JgM[/youtube]
Sound City – Fine doc about the fabled Van Nuys recording studio that saw the likes of Nirvana, Neil Young, Charles Manson, Tom Petty, Night Hoof, Fleetwood Mac, Johnny Cash, Uncle Mother, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Purple Merkin and Metallica all produce some fine work there. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYmFQbeJ–U[/youtube]
Stand Up Guys – Olde timey crooks, Pacino, Walken and Arkin get the band back together for “one last job”. Can’t really go wrong with a cast like that. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyuDSDIRkKo[/youtube]
As a bonus I’m going to throw in this great photo of Pacino and Walken. May it please your eyeballs.
Stories We Tell – The lovely and talented Sarah Polley directs this doc about a family of story-tellers and the stories that they tell. Won a bunch of awards somewhere, sometime. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kX5FazT1ysk[/youtube]
True Blood Season 5 – Another season full of vampires and the fairies that love them, werewolves and the other werewolves that love them, witches, who no-one loves, and man-dogs who love everyone. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M56S78UTzk0[/youtube]
Old Stuff Just In
Kaleidoscope – Trippy, hippy fun from the 60’s with Warren Beatty, his thick lovely hair and the lovely Susannah York, who I imagine has nice hair as well.
Coming Next Week
Kick
Dark Skies
Bachelorette
Longmire Season 1
City State
Generation Um
Recently Viewed and Recommended
Side Effects
Upstream Colour
Cloud Atlas
Sound City
Central Park Five
The Impossible
Silver Linings Playbook
And for this weeks chortle I’ll leave you with a nice mix of Daft Punk and screaming goats. Enjoy..
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PAT1UmlJ-0[/youtube]
Copyright © 2013 Black Dog Video, All rights reserved.
You are receiving this email because you signed up in-store or online.
Our mailing address is:
Black Dog Video
Cambie Street and/or Commercial Drive
Vancouver, BC V6H 3J1
Canada
Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending May 20th
So I was driving home from my ridiculously late (10:30!) hockey match on Saturday night when I confronted by a police spot check on the Second Narrows Bridge. I did have but one beer after the game as one might do playing Beer League Hockey. No big deal, thought I. But then I started to panic. I knew that I wasn’t anywhere close to the legal limit but I didn’t know what the rules are for any booze in one’s system. So I stop and, what looks like a large man-child in a police uniform, approaches my car. He looked quite young, like no more than 10 years-old young. He leaned into the car getting uncomfortably close in an attempt, I assume, to detect any wisps, faint or otherwise, of alcohol on my breath. I guess that all he could smell was salt and vinegar chips. He asked me, “Anything to drink tonight?” What to do? Tell him I had one and get pulled over for sure, or lie. I chose the latter, “Nope”. “Not even a drop?” he asked. This kind of confused me and made me nervous for some reason. Should I come clean? “Nope”. “Have a good night then” said the man-baby. I drove off. I felt kind of bad lying to the po-lice, the man, the heat, the fuzz, Johnny Law, Old Bill, 5-0, the Bacon, the Blue Meanies, the Khaki Kutta, the Labdick, the Mistelbaucher, The Moustached Pagoda, Old Smokey. But not that bad. I think my old-man Southern Austrian-looking moustache intimidated the young fella. Hah!
Funny thing was they were on the side of the bridge leading back into Vancouver. Who goes to North Van to party? Wouldn’t have made more sense to check folks leaving downtown? Just a thought.
New Releases for Tuesday May 14th
Age of Dinosaurs – A bio-tech firm recreates some dinosaurs that go on a rampage in LA. Sounds suspiciously like a certain Jurassic Park 2 type thing, does it not?. But does a guy get eaten in front of a Blockbuster? (Remember them?). Stars mega-movie stars Treat Williams and Ronny Cox. Direct by the auteur who brought you Nazis at the Center of the Earth. Some good cheese for a Saturday afternoon. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udQ1e-XUybE[/youtube]
Black Gold: Day of the Falcon – Antonio Bandaras stars in this Lawrence of Arabia-light film about the oil boom in the Arab states in the 1930’s. Lots of steely-eyed swarthy-looking men staring back at you from the box! Gotta like that. Directed by Jean-Jacques Annaud (The Bear, Name of the Rose). Looks like it might be some fun stuff for a Saturday afternoon. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_L7URIZNhQ[/youtube]
Calibre 9 – Crazy sounding French flick about a guy who finds a gun that’s possessed by the spirit of a dead prostitute. The gun talks to him and flies into his hands and goes about conducting “business” when needed. Yes your eyeballs read that correctly. Wish this was a documentary. If this is your kind of film, you’re already on board. Enjoy! [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNrIpOHwsTs[/youtube]
Cloud Atlas – A whole lot of Tom Hankses and Halle Berries and Hugo Weavings, and Jim Broadbents, among others, are slathered in piles of (in many cases awful – I’m looking at you, Hugh Grants!) make-up for this huge, sprawling, long, ambitious sci-fi drama mind-bender from the Wachowski’s (Matrixeses) and Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run). They all play different roles in different eras trying to tackle Big Ideas like re-incarnation, the nature of existence, control vs. individuality and the sharing of cute, similar-looking tattoos. Some will love it, some not so much. You be the judge! Also on the Blu Rays. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQFAPeaJOf8[/youtube]
Dexter Season 7 – Oh Dexter, you scamp, with you’re clever and amusing ways to kill people and never get caught. And with you’re weird relationship with your annoying sister, on and off screen. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pox3NMthhsc[/youtube]
Escape – AKA Flukt – From the Roar Uthaug, director of Cold Prey comes this tale of survivors of the Black Plague being harassed by some bad men and having to fend for their lives or something like that. Looks like some good rainy Saturday afternoon fare. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ozf407ofbY[/youtube]
A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III – Roman Coppola brings us this weird tale of what happens when a graphic designer’s girlfriend breaks up with him. Great cast – Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray, Aubrey Plaza but it also has Charlie Sheen so you’ve been warned. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWijct7LzAE[/youtube]
Texas Chainsaw – Yet another version of this tedious story about backwoods chainsaw wielding mutants looking to carve up some nubile coeds with gas-powered garden impliments. Also on the Blu Rays. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75TvtJIbbNY[/youtube]
Old Stuff Just In
Sexcula – Anyone up for some early 70’s Canadian vampire porn?
Coming Next Week
Comforting Skin
The Last Stand
True Blood Season 5
Beautiful Creatures
Side Effects
Parker
Stand Up Guys
Stories We Tell
Recently Viewed and Recommended
Central Park Five
Upstream Colour
Rust and Bone
Fringe Season 5
Silver Linings Playbook
The Impossible
The Paperboy
Django Unchained
Killing Them Softly
Life of Pi
Come on, Ryan Gosling, eat your cereal!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/ryan-gosling-wont-eat-his-cereal-is-basically-the-best-thing
Copyright © 2013 Black Dog Video, All rights reserved.
Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending May 13th
Zombies. Who doesn’t love zombies? Who doesn’t like to see dead-eyed, soulless freaks aimlessly shuffling around looking for something to eat? And no I’m talking about a Saturday afternoon at the mall. Zombies seem to be all over the place at the moment – The Walking Dead is a eating up the airwaves and DVDs, there’s actually a $100 Million zombie flick coming out this summer (I’m not holding my breath on that one), and, as you all know, it’s Zombie Awareness Month.
As I was watching The Walking Dead the other week I started to wonder about what makes zombies tick? In the zombie universe there exists many conundrums, such as when does a dead person turn into a zombie? When and how do they know when to stop eating their victims as the poor bastard turns zombie? Why aren’t there more half-eaten zombies laying around? Why don’t zombies eat each other? If you pretended to be a zombie, how would the real zombies know that you’re not one of them? Why do they keep shuffling around all the time, don’t they get tired and want to take a break from looking for brains? Do zombies go to the bathroom? Can they digest all that tasty human flesh they’ve just eaten? Do they explode if they eat too much? That would be cool. Yes I’ve spent far too much time thinking about this. And you probably just spent far too much time reading about it.
Hey is that a baby arm in your mouth or you just glad to see me?
On another note Mondays are and shall forever (maybe not forever) known as 2 for 1 New Release Mondays? Why you ask? Well it’s because every Monday you can rent any 2 New Releases for the price of 1! And, of course, Blu Rays are included.
On a sad note, one of my movie heros passed away today. Ray Harryhausen was the creator of so many fabulous creatures and monsters for some of my favorite films growing up. I still have many a fond memory watching such awesome flicks as Valley of Gwangi, the Sinbad films, Clash of the Titans and many many others. He was 92.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9kmjW73-v4[/youtube]
New Releases for Tuesday May 7th
As Luck Would Have It – A freak accident puts a guy in the middle of a media tidal wave and he then seeks to exploit his situation to make some dough. Complications, I presume, ensue. From the often great Alex de la Iglesia (Last Circus, 800 Bullets) and stars the lovely Salma Hayek. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLDZwO4X_7E[/youtube]
Bunohan: Return to Murder – Cool, violent (think Muay Thai kickboxing, assassins, name-calling) looking number from Malaysia about 3 brothers with violent pasts, presents and futures. Yes please! [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0wSdR3vUaI[/youtube]
Dirk Gently – A nice treat of a detective/comedy TV show based on the books of the great Douglas Adams. Detective Dirk runs his Holistic Detective Agency based on the “fundamental interconnectedness of all things”. Yep sounds like Douglas Adams all right. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPg7qtfN-64[/youtube]
Fringe Season 5 – Final Season for this great little sci-fi TV drama. I’m gonna miss Walternet, Pacey and Torv. Good job everyone. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W16kea_6KE[/youtube]
Jack Reacher – Little Tommy Cruise plays detective Jack Reacharound who’s interrogation techniques are not only unorthodox but also sexy. From what I hear this is a pretty good actioner, even if does have the Tom Cruise in it. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK7y8Ou0VvM[/youtube]
Mama – Cool looking scary number about some children who were raised in the woods by some sort of haunted wood nymph who doesn’t take it very well when Zero Dark Thirty finds them and brings them to her house for tea and horror. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Am7i7uM9r0[/youtube]
The Oranges – Comedy that finds Dr. House sleeping with his best friend’s daughter. Hilarious complications and situations, I presume, ensue. Good cast so this one might be worth a chuckle. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEBknhHTe_I[/youtube]
Safe Haven – Another one of those romance things from Nicolas Sparks (The Notebook) that finds a woman with a mysterious past meeting a handsome man withe a mysterious past. Mystery and romance, I presume, ensue. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6UE1RwiOM4[/youtube]
30 Rock Season 7 – The last and final season of one of the best comedies ever on the TV.
Upstream Colour – Remember that cool, weird film Primer from several years ago? Well this is the dude’s second film. Can’t really tell you what it’s about – romance? Time travel? Embracing moments? Poison monkeys? Bathtun Sleeping? Unicorns? Looks pretty cool though. Blu Ray is late on the shelves. Hopefully soon. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U9KmAlrEXU[/youtube]
Wuthering Heights – Monden take on the classic story by Emily Bronte or Jane Austin or Nicolas Sparks, not too sure. Directed by Andrea Arnold (Fish Tank). [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EceNo1LJj4[/youtube]
Coming Next Week
Cloud Atlas
Texas Chainsaw
Age of Dinosaurs
Calibre 9
Escape
Black Gold:Day of the Falcon
Dexter Season 7
A Glimpse into the Mind of Charles Swan III
Recently viewed and recommended
Upstream Colour
Fringe Season 5
Silver Linings Playbook
The Impossible
Archer S 1
The Paperboy
Django Unchained
Killing Them Softy
The Sweeney
Life of Pi
And while we’re on the subject of zombies, may I present to you this week’s chortle courtesy of the fine folks over at Bad Lip Reading….
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/user/BadLipReading[/youtube]
Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending May 6th
Well I managed to survive being home alone for a week while the family was away somewhere. Watched a lot of stuff, probably drank too much, slept in and scratched myself often. Good times. It was a nice little vacation but it’s also nice to have them home.
My mini film fest went something like this: re-watched The Avengers – still fun and I turned it up real loud-like (sorry CHUDs), The Collection – good gory opening scene but I got drunk, fell asleep and don’t remember the rest of it, Zero Dark Thirty – meh, too long, too much torture, The Impossible – quite good (great wave scenes) despite trying to hard to be smaltzy, manipulative and cloying, Walking Dead S2 – much enjoyed that – go zombies!, Archer S 1 – only watched first couple of episodes but they were amazeballs, Cold Prey II – pretty OK slasher thing from Norway or Sweden or Iceland or Antartica or someplace, Compliance – never wanted so bad to turn a film off. Insanely stupid people. If it wasn’t a true story, it’d be idiotic and insulting, The Paperboy – a lot of fun, great cast, weird and a bit nasty and it has Nicole Kidman pissing on Zac Efron. Finished it off with The Seven Per-Cent Solution – pretty good 70’s romp that has Sherlock Holmes and Sigmund Freud on the trail of a killer/kidnapper. All in all a good time that left me satiated but still wanting more.
Just wanted to throw out a nice big chunky thanks to all to fine folks who brought in food for our Food Bank drive. We have a few fat boxes and bags to deliver. And no pickled Alligator snouts this time!
New Releases for Tuesday April 30th
The Details – Here’s a fun, strange little number with Tobey Maguire (Frodo in Lord of the Rings, right?), Elizabeth Banks and others in this sordid tale of urban wildlife, infidelity, pet-poisonings, domestic tension and murder. Sounds kinda right up my alley. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBWCyNkMIJQ[/youtube]
Guilt Trip – Ugh. Seth Rogan and his mom, Babs Streisand, drive across the country and talk and laugh and share poignant moments in this comedy/drama thing. I bet that Rogan smokes weed at some point. “Get ready for the mother of all road trips”. Yep the box actually says that. Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezuLn0Eel6g[/youtube]
The Central Park Five – Great doc that looks at that horrible crime where 5 black and Latino kids were accused of raping a white woman in Central Park back in the eighties. This film tells the story of the rabid witch-hunt and all the stupid shit that happened after that. Good stuff, Ken Burns! Late arriving at Commercial. Hopefully soon…[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIGBUXuZGyQ[/youtube]
Not Fade Away – Good looking rock and roll fable from the dude who made The Sopranos. Some kids from Jersey try to make it in the rock and roll scene in the 1960s. Go Rock and Roll! Also on the Blu Ray. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w_uqflpCcU[/youtube]
Silver Linings Playbook – Bradley Cooper is a crazy guy who wears a garbage bag, Jennifer Lawrence is a crazy gal who won an Oscar and Robert De Niro cries. Word has it that this is an excellent comedy/drama/crazy person movie. Also on the Blu Rays. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj5_FhLaaQQ[/youtube]
Wasted on the Young – Good looking, well filmed Australian thriller type thing about bullies, true love and revenge. Some great things (movies mostly) coming out of Australia as of late. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SyCNE7PY4Q[/youtube]
Wicked – Mediocre looking horror dealy about a witch who eats children and hot dogs and stuff or something like that. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_GKaf3Uivc[/youtube]
Old Stuff Just In
Massage Parlour Murders – classic sleazy exploitation from the 70’s. You’re welcome! Also on the Blu Rays, cause, you know… [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puVhIBsRmfw[/youtube]
Coming Next Week
Revenge for Jolly
Jack Reacher
Safe Haven
Fringe Season 5
30 Rock Season 7
Bunohan: Return to Murder
Upstream Colour
Mama
The Oranges
Recently Viewed and Recommended
Silver Linings Playbook
The Impossible
The Collection (I think)
Archer
The Paperboy
Django Unchained
Cold Prey II
Killing Them Softly
The Sweeney
Rust and Bone
And this week I’ll leave you with this important bit of information from Captain Kirk…
http://imgur.com/gallery/YGgY0