Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending September 5th

R.I.P. Elliot Gould…mug. Yes, you heard right, my cherished Elliot Gould glass/mug thingy came to an unceremonious end last Wednesday night. It seems that some jughead who attended Jessica’s birthday screening of Cruising (more on that later) held at Cambie Black Dog broke the fabled piece and tried to hide the evidence underneath the sink. So sad. We shared some fine times, me and that mug. I can’t remember how I actually came into possession of this fine glass many years ago. It’s all a bit hazy, a beautiful dream. It was a commemorative ornament from his fine days at some dinner theatre in upstate New York. Elliot, you held many a fine beverage for me and my thirsty maw; water, beer, schnapps, mead, bourbon, smoothie, more beer plus countless other liquids too numerous to name. You’ve seen your fair share of hard times; the devastating fire of ’04, the RAV line debacle, 9/11 and that weird guy, Garrett, who worked at the store for less than a week. You survived them all. You couldn’t survive Cruising though. Tough film. You were a good companion, confidant, and friend to the other assortment of kitchen wares at the store. I shall miss sipping from your golden rim. You are gone, but not forgotten. The dream lives on.

As mentioned above, there was a screening last week at the store in a sort of trial run with the potential to hold a monthly or bi-monthly viewing of movies that please us. Al Pacino in Cruising was on the block last week and by all accounts it was a raving success (with the exception of what was stated above). Stay tuned for the future!

Also we have a little Blu-Ray sale going on at both stores. I recently culled the herd and sifted out some older titles that no longer rent. Come on by for a good deal – 1 BR for $10.00, 2 for $18.00 and 3 for $25.00. You’re saving money by buying them!

New Releases for Tuesday August 30th

Bereavement – Scary looking horror number about a 6 year-old boy who’s abducted (won’t be watching this one with the wife) by a sadistic serial killer (there’s really no nice serial killers) who, over the course of five years, teaches the boy everything he knows. Looks good and nasty!

The Big Bang – Antonio Bandaras stars in this noir-type thriller about a private dick on the trail of a missing stripper. Can’t say if this is any good or not but I do likes me the noir!

Blitz – Jason Statham stars in this action number (what, you thought it might be a romantic comedy?) as a cop who’s hot on the trail of a sadistic serial killer (see above) who targets other cops. Straight to DVD makes me think, hmmm. Also on the Blu Ray.

Bobby Fischer Against the World – Excellent doc about the mad genius of chess (of course the only chess geniuses are mad, right?) and his rise and fall in the seedy underworld of chess club. First rule? You don’t talk…

The Conspirator – Robert Redford directs this stuffy drama about Mary Surratt, the lone female charged as a co-conspirator in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. This court-room drama follows her and her reluctant lawyer and yadda-yadda. Also on the Blu Ray.

Exporting Raymond – Hilarious doc about the creator of that terrible show Everyone Loves Raymond who is commissioned by Russian television to recreate that show, called Voroniny, for Russian audiences. Much hilarity, I presume, ensues.

Henry’s Crime – Pretty good cast, Canoe Reeves, Vera Farmiga and James Caan star in this little thriller about a guy who was sent to the big house for a crime he didn’t commit who then gets out of the slammer and targets the bank he was accused of robbing. Got that?

House Season 7 – More House doin’ his crazy doctoring. (Might be late on the shelves)

In a Better World – Great Danish film and deserving winner of the best Oscar for foreign film. Its fine drama about bullies, tough choices, masculinity in modern culture, when to take a stand, when to back down, when to just go and make a sandwich. Can’t recommend this enough. Also on the blu ray.

The Perfect Host – Black comedy starring Niles from Frazier (and Side-Show Bob’s brother) as a dinner host who has more in store for his guests than cucumber sandwiches without the crusts and a glass of Baby Duck.

Prom – Like, who are going to the, like, prom with? Like, oh my gawd, I don’t even know?! Is, like, Elliot Gould still available?

Sons of Anarchy Season 3 – More bikers doin what they do – biking around and committing crimes. (Might be late on the shelves)

Sympathy for Delicious – Stupid name for a movie. This one stars and is directed by indie favorite, Mark Ruffalo. A newly paralyzed DJ seeks out some faith healing but gets more than he bargained for. I wonder what that means? You’ll have to watch to find out. Good indie flavoured cast – Juliette Lewis, Laura Linney, Noah Emmerich among others.

True Adolescents – Comedy about a 30-something slacker who’s forced to take a couple teenagers camping. Hilarity, I presume, ensues.

Venus Noire – True story of Saartjes Baartman, a Black domestic worker who, in 1808, left South Africa for Europe hoping to find fame and fortune there. Apparently things didn’t really work out as planned. Think carnival sideshow, prostitution, disease and death. I don’t think that this is a comedy.

The Ward – So John Carpenter, you’ve had nine years since your last film (that terrible Mars movie) and this is what you came up with – a horror number about a bunch of young supermodels in a psychiatric hospital who are terrorized by a shoddy looking ghost? Nice job. It’s almost saved by the twist at the end and Carpenter’s always cool music, but then it’s undone by a cheap scare afterwards. Quite disappointing.

Coming Next Week

The Office S 7
Vidal Sassoon Movie
The High Cost of Living
Road to Nowhere
Fringe S 3
Parks and Recreation S 3
Everything Must Go
Hanna
A Horrible Way to Die
Small Town Murder Songs
Tracker
Gruffalo
X-Men: First Class (Sept 9th)

Recently Viewed and Recommended

In A Better World
Exporting Raymond
Trollhunter
Louie Season 1
True Blood Season 3
Meet Monica Velour
Winter in Wartime
Lincoln Lawyer
Jane Eyre
Limitless
Rango
Super
Paul

Internets! Speak to me!

Here’s something to make you laugh – it’s a ridiculous Chinese translation of Batman Begins found in a dollar store – http://www.dangerousminds.net/comments/hilarious_chinese_translation_of_batmans_origins_/

Here’s some funny images to come out of the sort-of big storm that was Hurricane Irene – http://www.funnyordie.com/slideshows/a52bc08da6/the-funniest-images-to-come-from-hurricane-irene?playlist=featured_pictures_and_words#slide1

Great (kind-of) Craigslist offer – http://www.funnyordie.com/pictures/e3f42ddb22/this-craigslist-offer-is-not-for-everyone?rel=by_user

That’s it for this week folks. I leave you with this disturbing and upsetting image…

Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending August 29th

Been kind of a strange morning; awoke to find that Jack Layton had died which is a big bummer. Cancer! (I yell as I’m shaking my fist at the sky), Gaddfi is all washed up (I wonder if he’s going to keep his fabulous mad dictator wardrobe – Halloween costume ideas, kids!), it’s not just raining, but pouring out there, saw a BMW with the license plate SKID RW (he either really likes the band or really likes poor, broken people – or like mocking them) and there was a small headline on one of the local rags that posed the question that’s been on everyone’s mind “Can Apes Really Rise Up?”. Crazy day.

New Releases for Tuesday August 23rd

The Beaver – What can one say about this? It has Madder than Usual Mel Gibson running around with a filthy beaver puppet on his hand as he drives the shortbus straight to crazy town. When I heard about this film I thought that the only way it could work was if they went full on bat-shit insane mode, make it a really dark comedy. I hear that’s not what it is but actually a sensitive piece about a dude losing his grip on everything in his life. Too bad, missed opportunity me thinks.

Beneath Hill 60 – Tense WWI Australian flick about an Australian dude who has to lead a mission full of Australians that has to tunnel under German lines and blow some shit up. Blow it up, real good.

Bride Flight – When I first read this I thought, cool, Bride Fight! It’s about time someone made a film about the dirty, dark world of underground bride fights. Stupid eyes. Instead we get an award winning Dutch film about the famous “bride flight” that takes some mail order brides to New Zealand to get all married up to, I presume, some sheep farmers. Supposed to be quite good actually. Stars my favorite Hobo with a Shotgun, Rutger Hauer.

Community Season 1 – Season 1 of the acclaimed comedy series. Season 2 is here in a month so don’t freak out.

Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil – Kids thing about Little Red Riding Hood battling a serial killer known as the Spine Ripper and…just kidding of course. Kids know what this is, me, not so much.

Mystery Science Theatre 3000 vs Gamera – The clowns at MSK take on 5 of the old school Gamera films. Word has it that it’s among the best stuff the MSK has done. Available at the Commercial location only for the time being. Anyone want me to bring it in at Cambie, drop me a line. More info can be found here…http://popdose.com/dvd-review-mst3k-vs-gamera-mystery-science-theater-3000-vol-xxi/

NEDS – With a name like that I pictured a bunch of sweater wearing nerds doing some LARPing or something. Instead NEDS is short for Non Educated Delinquents. This number is a coming of age story set in the lovely gritty nasty world of 1970’s Glasgow. Looks pretty darn good actually.

Pom Wonderful Presents the Greatest Movie Ever Sold – Can’t say how much I hate the dumb title of this doc or how tired I am of it’s creator Morgan Spurlock. This time around our hero delves into the world of corporate sponsorship and product placement in da movies.

Troll Hunter – This one is my pick for most anticipated movie released this week. This Norwegian flick is a Cloverfield type horror number about some folks running after and from giant trolls roaming the Norwegian countryside doing mean things. Check out the awesome trailer here…http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2670304537/
Troll Hunter was late shipping so I’m hoping to get it on the shelves by tomorrow. Keeping the fingers crossed…

Win Win – Comedy drama exercise finds sad sack lawyer Paul Giamatti moonlighting as a high school wrestling coach which, of course, he’s terrible at. The awesome Amy Ryan is along for the ride as his wife. Word has it that it’s quite a good flick.

X – Heavy Australian drama about a call girl on her last night on the job (think everything goes alright?) who teems up with a rookie hooker on the run from some bad guys. As the box art exclaims, “A thriller that excites.” Yee-haw.

Old Stuff Just In…

Anne of a Thousand Days
Mary Queen of Scots
Things – check out the awesome cover here – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0183881/
The Children’s Hour

Recently Viewed and Recommended

True Blood Season 3
Meet Monica Velour
Winter in Wartime
Lincoln Lawyer
Jane Eyre
Limitless
Rango
Super
Paul

Great Job Internets!

Need more proof that you should be watching Louie because Louis CK is the funniest man on the planet? Check out this clip from Conan from last week…[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elmQQpdLynM&feature=related[/youtube]

Here’s a pretty good article about films and stuff that the crew at the Onion didn’t like but would recommended to others…http://www.avclub.com/articles/didnt-like-it-would-still-recommend-it,60621/

As promised last week, here’s a good article about musician on musician insults. Good stuff…http://flavorwire.com/200333/the-30-harshest-musician-on-musician-insults-in-history

Anyone still have a VCR? Maybe you might want to add these to your collection..http://www.funnyordie.com/slideshows/d165c2d57a/vhs-tapes-that-prove-we-still-need-vcrs?playlist=featured_pictures_and_words#slide9

That’s it folks, stay dry, get high, stop on by and watch a flick!

Black Dog Video

Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending August 22nd

Hope everyone’s having fun! Sorry but that’ about all I have this week. I’m still trying to recover from a friend’s wedding ordeal over the weekend. There was much drinking, dancing and everything else that happens at weddings. At least I came home with my pants this time.

New Releases for Tuesday August 16th, 2011 the year of our Lord

The Bang Bang Club – This film doesn’t even need to change it’s name to make it a funny porn title, i.e.: Chitty Chitty Gang Bang, On Golden Blonde or Splendor in the Ass. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Anyhoo, now that you’re finished laughing – this movie centres around some war photographers in South Africa in the final days of Apartheid. Also on the blu ray.

Dexter Season 5 – Oh Dexter, will you ever stop your murdering ways? Hope not.

Force of Nature: The David Suzuki Story – Doc about BC’s (and Canada’s) favorite and most famous tree hugger.

Jane Eyre – Yet another adaptation of the Bronte tale. This one stars dreamy Michael Fassbender. My favorite version is still the SCTV one with a big-eared Andrea Martin riding around on a small pony for some reason.

Medium Raw – Horror film starring the cigarette dude from the X-Files about some people who are trapped in a prison/insane asylum where some occurrences occur that traps them in with the inmates who are running amok. I haven’t had a good running amok evening in quite a while. Miss those days.

Meet Monica Velour – Awkward teen sets out to meet his favorite porn star. Awww how sweet. Part of growing up, wasn’t it? Meeting your favorite porn star. Looking forward to sending out my kid on this quest when he comes of age. Kim Cattrall stars as the titular character who best days are well behind her as she struggles to make ends meet as a single mom. Doesn’t sound all that titillating anymore, does it?

Petits Mouchoirs – French film that translates to Little Mouchoirs. I mean Little White Lies. Stars the lovely Marion Cotillard and some other French actors that go on vacation and things happen to them on vacation and secrets are revealed while on vacation. Drama and comedy, I presume, ensue during the vacation.

Priest – Documentary about a rogue Priest who knows how to kick some vampire ass. Which, I presume, he does. (I was just kidding about the documentary, it’s a musical.) Also on the blu ray.

Something Borrowed – Generic rom-com starring the queen of these things – Kate Hudson and John, you are quickly losing any cool points you may have acquired on The Office, Krasinski. Couldn’t tell you what it’s about and really. Does it even matter?

West is West – Sequel to the wildly popular East is East from a few seasons back finds the family going back to India for a healthy dose of culture clash and comedy hi-jinks.

The Year Dolly Parton was My Mom – Coming of age Canadian dealy about an 11 year-old girl searching for her real mom and waiting for adolescence to kick in. How Canadian does that sound?

Old Stuff Just In…

Conan the Barbarian – Blu Ray – Arnold’s finest 2 hours. Watch it with the commentary on as it’s the funniest thing you’ll ever witness! I’m not at all kidding about that at all. Watch it!

Coming Next Week

Venus Noire
Pom Wonderful Presents the Greats Movie Ever Sold
Blitz
TrollHunter
Henry’s Crime
The Beaver
NEDS
Tactical Force
Beneath Hill 60
X
Bride Flight

Recently viewed and Recommended

Lincoln Lawyer
Winter in Wartime
American Grindhouse
Outside the Law
Paul
Super
Louie Season 1
Limitless
Source Code
Hobo with a Shotgun
Rubber
Rec 2
Rango

Great Job Internets!

Hey want to read some great insults that famous directors have directed at each other? Some good director on director action here as someone once said… http://flavorwire.com/200745/the-30-harshest-filmmaker-on-filmmaker-insults-in-history#.TkMN7dozh_c.twitter
Coming next week – best musician on musician insults.

Tell me this film doesn’t look awesome! It seems to have everything! (hits the DVD in a couple of months) [youtube]http://youtu.be/C8sEZAB13_o[/youtube]

Need and excuse to start watching Louie? http://www.funnyordie.com/pictures/d02da0f8db/this-screenshot-from-louie-is-yet-another-reason-you-should-be-watching-louie?playlist=featured_pictures_and_words

Hey who knew that The Terminator was on Twitter? http://www.funnyordie.com/pictures/d2f3a15c8a/the-terminator-is-on-twitter-and-it-s-kind-of-amazing?playlist=featured_pictures_and_words

That’s it for this week folks. Enjoy the sun, but not too much, and keep watching!

Black Dog Video

Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending August 15th

I’m a tad under the weather today so I’ll keep the newsletter concise and to the point. Here goes…It’s not the best week in the history of cinema for releases this week. There seems to be a leaning towards comedies. You like comedies, right? Good, we have some.

I also have to mention that there’s some sort of big street party this Saturday on and around Cambie street. Bands, food, other stuff. Drop on by. There’s a poster thingy at the bottom of the newsletter with more details.

New Releases for Tuesday August 9th, 2011

Mars Needs Moms – Creepy looking animated thing that reportedly cost 150 million friggin’ dollars to make! Really? And then it tanked at the box office. I can think of a few better ways to spend/waste that kind of coin than on a sub par story about aliens who come and abduct some kid’s mom and take her to Mars. (Aww just what the kids like – abduction stories).

Outside the Law – No it’s not the latest three-word-title Steven Segal masterpiece, but an outstanding French historical thriller about Algeria’s fight for independence from France. Kind of a sequel to the great Days of Glory from a few years back.

Paul – Pretty good comedy about a couple of British sci-fi geeks (Simon Pegg and Nick Frost) who attend Comic-Con to nerd out and then hit the road in an RV to check out famous UFO sites around America including Roswell and Area 51 (I’ve been to both on my own nerd UFO quest 15 years ago). What didn’t happen to us on our trip was we didn’t pick up an actual alien voiced by Seth Rogan who was being chased by evil government agents. I was hoping for more out of this comedy as the laughs are scattered about and the ending is pretty lame and weak but there was enough fun sci-fi references and the alien, Paul, is great, to keep the interest. Worth a look, especially if you’re a bit of a geek. And really, isn’t there a little geek in all of us? Also on the Blu Ray.

Repeaters – Locally shot Canadian film (well duh) about three twenty-somethings who, for some reason, are forced to repeat the same horrible day over and over again. Kind of like an unfunny, gritty Canadian Groundhog Day.

Super – This is a . Didn’t know what to expect when I threw this on the other night. I think I may have been expecting a comedy in the vein of Kick-Ass as it’s about a dude who takes on a super-hero persona to fight crime and to get his wife back after she is abducted by Kevin Bacon. What I got was a sort of weird and creepy Taxi Driverish super-hero comedy thing. Dwight Shcrute from The Office can’t quite carry the film and is a bit dense and annoying at times as the Crimson Bolt and Ellen Page is bat-shit crazy as his sidekick Boltie. Kevin Bacon rules the film though as a sleazy drug dealer who kidnaps Liv Tyler (still hard to buy Liv Tyler being married to Rainn Wilson). It’s quite violent as our hero bludgeons “criminals” with his monkey wrench, people get blown up, stabbed and other stuff. Worth a look for sure as it’s something out of the ordinary. “Shut up, Crime!” Also on the Blu Ray.

Your Highness – Stoner comedy from David Gordon Green (why is he doing films like this? Get back to the stuff that made you good – George Washington, Undertow) and stars the likes of Danny McBride, James Franco, Zooey Deschanel and Natalie Portman who romp around the countryside back in the days of yore (well back when there were knights and wizards and shit). I’ve heard middling things about this but it’s a stoner comedy so do what you need to do. Also on the Blu Ray.

Coming Next Week

Priest
Something Borrowed
Dexter Season 5
Hoodwinked Too!
Jane Eyre
West is West
The Bang Bang Club
The Killing
David Suzuki: Force of Nature

Recently Viewed and Recommended

Paul
Super
Limitless
Source Code
Winter in Wartime
Children’s Hospital
Hobo with a Shotgun
The Adjustment Bureau

Great Job, Internets!

Speaking of unlikely screen couples, here’s a recent post in the Onion discussing that very subject…http://www.avclub.com/articles/least-likely-screen-couples,59992/

Speaking of comedy and laughing and shit, check out this great compilation of tragic auto-correct submissions from people’s Iphone things (warning some of them are quite rude) http://damnyouautocorrect.com/10484/the-top-15-most-popular-dyac-texts-of-all-time/

 

 

Speaking of street parties, here’s the poster I wuz tellin’ ya’ll about…

 

That’s it for this week folks, go to the beach, enjoy the sun, drink something cold, get frisky and remember, keep watching!

Black Dog Video

Black Dog Video Newsletter for Week Ending August 8th

My poor car. I lease a Matrix (boring, yes I know) which I’m told that for some reason is better than buying a car for the business. Anyhoo, while I can’t say it’s the car’s fault, I’ve had such a bad run of luck with it in the 2 and 1/2 years that I’ve had it. I have two lovely yellow scrapes on either side of the car after someone (they shall remain nameless) hit a couple of parking pillars. This causes the front passenger door to make an unGawdly scronky sound whenever it’s opened. Add to that the damage to the roof and hood that a recent hailstorm caused – I must have about a hundred small dents littering the thing. Also a while back some wayward hobo broke into the car, smoked a cigarette, stained the back seat with I don’t want to know what and proceeded to scratch up my glove box. Then a couple days ago another ne’er-do-well (might be the same fellow, probably not) broke into the car again and stole my rearview mirror! I’m thinking that the car co-op or some similar program might be the way to go when my lease is up. Anyone out there know a good body repair person?

New Releases for Tuesday August 2nd

Children’s Hospital Season 1 and 2 – I haven’t seen this TV show but from what I hear Rob Corddry from The Daily Show has created a pretty funny little number that parodies medical dramas. Nothing funnier than sick children, that’s what I always say!

Conqueror – Russian film based on the novel by Nikolai Gogol about Cossacks fighting in the Ukraine against Poland. Good old Cossacks, always fighting. Gotta give ’em a hand for that!

Eastbound and Down Season 2 – Couldn’t really get into Season 1 of this show, although it did have it’s moments. Maybe it’s just the guy, Danny McBride, that I don’t favour. Don’t really know. Might give Season 2 a try as I hear it’s even better than the first. We’ll see.

Ironclad – Another sword and blood epic finds a bunch of Knights Templar defending a castle against Paul Giamatti and some bad hair. Seems to be lots of these type of things floating around on the DVDs lately. I’m a fan, might give this one a spin. Also on the Blu Rays.

Jackboots on Whitehall – All puppets all the time! This number presents a satirical alternative history of World War II where the Nazis seize London. Think Team America but with English and German accents.

Last Night – Two insanely good looking married people are tempted by more insanely good looking people in this tale of trust and infidelity. I must say if I was being tempted by Eva Mendes, well… Also on the Blu Ray so you can see just how darn attractive everyone is!

Quarantine 2 – Nice timing. Rec 2 (where the first Quarantine was based on the first Rec) just hit the DVD shelves. This one changes things up a bit by having the disease (or whatever caused the first outbreak of zombies) get loose on an airliner. Chaos and horror, I presume, ensues.

Rio – Animated kids thing about talking birds and stuff in Brazil.

Soul Surfer – True story (lame title) of a teenage surfer girl who lost an arm to a mean old nasty shark while surfing. This inspiring tale follows her and her families attempt to overcome the tragedy and get her back on board. She has way more cajones than I do that’s for sure, the chances of getting attacked by a shark a second time must be pretty slim. (But don’t tell that to the park ranger guy who’s been hit by lightning 5 times!)

Stake Land – Not terrible, pretty OK vampire apocalypse film finds a guy called Mister and his young protege battling the nasty bloodsuckers as they try to make their way across a ravaged and desolate US to “New Eden” or “Canada” as it’s called in the film. Some good ideas, some left undone, pretty good vamps, but I have to say the main guy is not much of an actor. Sure dude, it’s your idea and you had a hand in writing it, but seriously, hire an actor, you don’t need to try and act all tough like. And when was the last time you saw Kelly McGillis?

United States of Tara S 3 – More Taras are back to entertain you.

We Are Who We Are – This one sounds pretty cool – a Mexican family of fine young cannibals try to keep the clan afloat and the freezer full after dad kicks the bucket.

Coming Next Week

Paul
Your Highness
Repeaters
Petits Mouchoirs
Mars Needs Moms
Super

Recently Viewed and Recommended

13 Assassins
Limitless
Rec 2
Source Code
Trigger
Life During Wartime
Rango
Damages S 3
Hobo with a Shotgun
Insidious

Yo, Internets, what up?

The Missing Link has been found! Who knew it was to come in the form of a mushroom? [youtube]http://youtu.be/R3cJ6xVkLuk[/youtube]

What price fame? Here’s nutty article detailing some of the insane things one must agree to when signing on to be a cast member of MTV’s The Real World. Creepy. http://www.avclub.com/articles/here-is-the-insane-contract-that-all-real-world-ca,59864/

I’ve always thought that we are too overprotected when it comes to warning signs and labels. Maybe I was wrong. http://www.happyplace.com/4042/most-absurd-warnings-and-product-disclaimers

Don’t make Dan Savage mad. Smarten up Santorum, ya knob…http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/602a41c3d7/dan-savage-s-new-threat-to-rick-santorum?playlist=featured_videos

That’s if for this week, folks. Have a great sunny seven days, keep watching and please, leave my car alone.

Black Dog Video