Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending January 3rd

Here it is folks, the last ever newsletter…for this year. And with that brings our list of our favorite and not so favorite films of the past 12 months. It hasn’t really been a banner year for films, especially the stuff oozing out of Hollywood. In fact I’m hard pressed to think of a worse year than 2010 for movies. That said we still managed to find some gems hidden among all of the detritus. So over the next couple of weeks I’ll be throwing down the Black Dog staff picks for the calendar year 2010. I’m still working on my list (have a few titles I still want to see) but some of the other staff members have submitted their submissions for your viewing pleasure.

As mentioned in the last newsletter, this week the hours at the stores will remain the same as usual with the exception of New Year’s Eve (this Friday I believe) when both stores will be open noon until 8pm. Get there early and stock up for those of you smart enough not to go out that night. We will be open noon until 11pm on Saturday for those bleary eyed folk who need a little entertainment to get them through the day.

New Releases for Tuesday December 28th

The American – Ridiculously handsome George Clooney plays “The American” (also known if France as “The American – thanks IMDB), a assassin or spy or something hiding out in Italy to do the “one last job”. Again with the one last job! I wonder if he sewed a Canadian flag on his back pack to help disguise the fact that he’s “The American”? Directed by Anton Corbin (Control). Also on Blu Ray.

Fubar 2 – Old Terry and Dean (the ultimate hosers) head north to strike it rich working the oil fields or tar sands or whatever they’re calling them now. What can one say but “giv’er”?

Handsome Harry – Well received drama about a Vietnam vet with a “big secret” who carries out the dying wish of a comrade by getting in contact with some fellow soldiers to talk about the “big secret”. I bet Harry is not nearly as handsome as George Clooney!

The Oxford Murders – Swell pedigree for this number (John Hurt, Elijah Wood, Álex de la Iglesia directs – Day of the Beast, 800 Bullets, Acción Mutante) about a college professor and grad student who team up to solve some murders or try to prevent more murders or something. I haven’t seen this but I’m hedging my bets that one of them is the murderer. I hope that I’m proved wrong.!

Mesrine: Public Enemy No. 1 – Part 2 of the great true French crime thriller starring Vincent Cassel (almost as handsome as George Clooney) as the titular character. Also on Blu Ray.

Resident Evil: Afterlife – This series still going on? Don’t know what it’s about, don’t really care. All I know is that Mila Jovavich shoots a bunch of zombies or mutants or whatever. Also on Blu Ray (may be a bit late on the shelves – sorry).

Teenage Paparazzo – The week of handsome men continues with dreamy Adrian Grenier (Entourage) turning the cameras on some punk paparazzo in this very entertaining (or so I’m told) doc about the nature of celebrity and the weirdos that obsess about them.

United States of Tara Season 2 – The mighty Toni Collette returns for another kick at the can in this acclaimed series about a woman functioning with dissociative identity disorder and raising a dysfunctional family.

Coming Next Week

  • The Last Exorcism
  • Baaria
  • Catfish
  • The Ricky Gervais Show Season 1
  • Machete
  • Mother and Child
  • Big Love Season 4
  • Dinner for Schmucks
  • Mao’s Last Dancer

Staff Picks (part 1) for the year 2010

Joe (Commercial)

As always my top ten includes a few movies that maybe were in theatres last year, but on DVD this year. I work in a video store so that’s how I catalogue things, by the dvd release.

The Headless Woman Directed by Lucretia Martel whose previous two films “Holy Girl” & “La Cienaga” (aka The Swamp) are also genius. She has the most unflinching camera in use today, in many ways. She captures that decadent banality of the class system better than anyone since Bunuel, in my opinion. Headless Woman continues along similar themes, but is less concerned with narrative than the earlier two. She’s stretching with this one, and I’m salivating to see what she does next.

The Maid is one of those pictures that actually pulled the wool over my seasoned viewer eyes, I thought it was treading nicely down the path of one kind of “Maid movie” ( if indeed there is such a genre, and I can’t see why there wouldn’t be) but in the end it became a wholly different kind of story. Genius performance from the lead actress. Great flick.

Tony Manero is another great Chilean movie. Tony Manero of course refers to the John Travolta Iconic white suited Saturday Night Fever character. Which by the way is a kick ass film remembered for all the wrong things. Disco is just the setting. But I digress. The main character in this film is also kind of obsessed with SNF, he wants to make it on to a local dancing TV game show where they are looking to crown Chile’s “Tony Manero”. The tension comes from the fact that the guy is despite being well liked by some, a complete sociopath. It must be seen to be believed, the casualness of his brutality. Yet somehow we’re pulling for this psycho? Yes, yes we are.

Fishtank is a great little indy drama from sophomore director Andrea Arnold, whose first film “Red Road” I had no choice but to re-watch directly after watching Fishtank, so much did I still want to be part of Arnold’s universe. The main character is a young high school girl who just wants to dance and get out of her party time very young herself still mom’s house and the life there… Mom starts dating a nice guy for a change, and things seem to take a familiar turn, or do they? Very grown up look at that stuff we don’t talk about.

The Eclipse has absolutely nothing to do with Twilight or stupid angsty teen vampires. It has to do with big time real Irish actors doing their thing in an old fashioned ghost story/romance triangle. It’s a fractured surreal triangle at best, which is what gives this film it’s edge, that, and the good old fashioned eeek it’s a ghost kind of scares it contains once in a while. Cieran Hinds is genius in this, Aidan Quinn is himself, and then some. Nice little movie with no pretensions to be more or less than it is.

The Cry Of The Owl is not for everyone with it’s murky cinematography and old fashioned melodrama acting, but for those who enjoy that kind of thing, like me, this is a joy, this film. Like a Val Lewton Produced Douglas Sirk movie maybe? The darkness I guess comes from the fact it’s a Patricia Highsmith story. She was a master of mood, and spare about it at the same time… much like this movie. Julia Stiles deserves some kind of award for her creepy girl turn here. Owls crying, indeed.

Mother The latest from Joon Ho Bong the Korean director behind Memories of Murder, as well as The Host. This film covers much of the same territory of memories of murder, and even has some actors recurring roles (or at least very similar types, it wasn’t addressed at all.) as it’s set in a small town with small town cops covering everyone’s dirty secrets. The Mother in question is the mother of the most recent patsy to be arrested for killing a young girl. Riveting performance, and despite it’s familiar setting is really nothing like Memories Of Murder, and maybe even as good, I need to see both films again before making that judgement.

The Killer Inside Me is again not for everyone. It only has a small number of violent scenes, but those are graphic in a nigh harrowing fashion. I know many who couldn’t watch those scenes at all, hiding their eyes, or just fast forwarding ahead. So be warned. That said It’s yet another masterpiece from Michael Winterbottom. Bravura film making, coaxes a nomination worthy performance out of Casey Affleck. Very decent adaptation of the classic Jim Thompson novella.

Sleep Dealer is a classy little bit of Sci-Fi which is hard to come by these days. Set in the pretty near future, water is scarce, and people often work using virtual reality to control robots doing jobs often in other parts of the world. All the military is by proxy as well of course, and all private. The army works for whoever hires them. A young Mexican hacker ends up in Tijuana learning about this much more realistic Matrix than The Matrix ever was, setup, while sending money home to his folks. There are acts of rebellion, the world changes ever so slightly. I felt like all the future tech they used could easily come to pass in 10-20 years.

Valhalla Rising is a film that many loathe, and misunderstand. It’s bound to be compared to Cobra Verde, or other Herzogian visions. but that’s not a bad thing to my mind.. Mads Mikkelsen excels as the one eyed enslaved ruthless killer who lives to entertain others with bloodsport. Eventually he follows some crusaders towards the Holy Land for a crusade, but they take a wrong turn at Vinland….I found this little slice of mood and mise en scene to be hypnotic and it stayed in my dreams & thoughts for days afterwards.

This Is England 86’ (special mention: on TV in Merry Olde during 2010, hopefully on DVD here soon as fricking possible!) Is the even better than sequel to The Great Shane Meadows’ “This Is England” from a few years back. All the same actors return a few years older, and well, not really that much wiser, and of course a great many bad things happen. There is especially one scene that would be hard to take for many, but otherwise there is lots of humour and dignity in this 80’s saga. I’d love to see more actually.

Torsten (Commercial)

1) The Headless Woman (Argentina)
2) A Serious Man (USA)
3) Tony Manero (Chile)
4) My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done? (USA)
5) Valhalla Rising (GB/Dan)
6) The Maid (Chile)
7) North Face (Germany)
8) Terribly Happy (Denmark)
9) Winter’s Bone (USA)
10) This Is Britain 86 (GB)

worst movie of 2010 by a mile “The American”!

John (Cambie)

The best films of the year, in order, were:

ANOTHER YEAR (easily the best)

The worst film of the year was SEX AND THE CITY 2 and shame on me for
watching it.

Shioby (Cambie)

fish tank – andrea arnold
the killer inside me – michael winterbottom
valhalla rising – nicholas winding refn (BEST BLOOD AND GORE I’VE SEEN ALL YEAR <3 )
Red Riding trilogy – julian jarrold, james marsh, and anand tucke
who is harry nilsson (and why is everyone talking about him?) – john scheinfeld
crumb – criterion collection release – terry zwigoff

i won’t list off the films i didn’t think were amazing, but can we have more gore in 2011?


And a seasonal greeting from Ricky Gervais…

Here’s a list of someone’s guilty pleasures from 2010. I can’t say that I agree as if it’s pleasurable, why should you feel guilty about liking it. I have no qualms saying that Jackass 3-D was the most fun I had in the theatre this year. Anyways, for your consideration..

Anyways, that’s it for this my lovelies, hope that you all have a great week (especially if you have it off) and have a safe New Year’s Eve and what not. Talk at you next year!

Black Dog Video

Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending December 27th

Tis that time of year again – time to feast until your eyeballs explode, drink until your liver swarms around your midsection forming a bloated liver belt. All with impunity! And don’t forget to stock up on films for the holidays as well, as you will need some sort of respite to escape the relatives and family and debauchery. Below you can find a few Christmas favorites here at Black Dog that you might find enjoyable.

New Releases for Tuesday December 21st

Devil – The devil traps a bunch of people in an elevator and starts killing them off one by one for some reason. Based on a true story (may not be based on a true story). Starts out not too bad (despite the title “Story by M. Night Shamalyan) but suffers from not enough gore or tension. And OK time waster for you horror aficionados out there.
Don Giovanni – Italian costume drama about a libertine who is exiled to Vienna for some reason who falls into favour with some composers named Salieri and Mozart (who?) and goes on to inspire Old Wolfey (that’s what his friends called him) into writing the famed titular composition.
Easy A – Well received comedy about a girl (Emma Stone) who uses the high school’s rumour mill that she has slept with some dudes to advance her social standing. Ah, high school, how I don’t miss thee. Also on Blu Ray.
Family Guy: It’s a Trap! – More family guy spoofing the Star Wars. If you want really good Star Wars spoof may I suggest Robot Chicken?
Salt – Angelina Jolie and her lips run and shoot and jump their way through this silly non-sensical thriller. After being outed as a possible Russian spy, Salt goes rogue and a bunch of stuff happens and blows up for some reason that basically left me scratching my head. Also on Blu Ray.
Step Up 3: Electric Boogaloo – Sorry no 3-D on this third excursion into the dance flick that “pumps you up like nothing before it!”
Wall Street 2: Electric Boogaloo – Sorry, again, no 3-D which a good thing unless you want to see scaly Michael Douglas in all his Gordon Gekkoness parade around in this sequel to, you guessed it, Wall Street. Also on Blu Ray.

Coming the Following Week

  • The American
  • Fubar II
  • Handsome Harry
  • The Oxford Murders
  • Teenage Paparazzo

Christmas Suggestions for your Viewing Pleasure

  • Christmas Carol (of course the Alastair Sim version)
  • Bad Santa
  • Blast of Silence
  • Scrooged
  • Joyeux Noel
  • Extras Extra Special Series Finale
  • Black Christmas
  • Mon Oncle Antoine
  • The Junky’s Christmas
  • Bell, Book and Candle
  • Muppet Christmas Carol
  • Die Hard
  • Christmas Evil
  • Gremlins

Ye Olde Merry Internets

Strangest story of the week, or month, or year – 17 minutes that were edited out of 2001: Space Odyssey have been discovered…in a salt mine in Kansas!
In “honour” of Yogi Bear hitting the big screen here’s a nice little parody starring Yogi and the murderous cowardly Boo-Boo.
Tragic masturbation scenes. Have your attention? Thought so.,2007/
Have great holiday everyone!
Black Dog Video

Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending December 20th

Good news for all of you TV on DVD watchers out there, we’re dropping the price on the all TV shows, new and old! Personally, this is the only way I watch the TV shows – no commercials, you don’t have to wait a week for the next episode and you can watch as many as you want. So starting tomorrow (Wednesday) the prices of the TV DVDs will be as follows; New titles are a paltry $3.50 and the old one’s a meager $3.00. Holy hot dogs that is a swell deal! So now you can stock up over the holidays and have some extra dough to spend on booze or whatever gets you through the season.

And a big shout out to all the people who dropped off some edibles for the food bank (even those of you who brought in a can of creamed corn for a $39 late charge – you know who you are). We have a large pile to take down there this week.

I’ll be posting our holiday hours in next week’s newsletter so you can plan accordingly.

New Releases for Tuesday December the 14th

A-Team – Yes its the “movie” version (not too sure why the quotation marks are there but I think it works) of the crappy but fondly remembered TV show that your dad loved back in the eighties. Also on Blu Ray

Cyrus – Round Jonah Hill is just a tad too close to his hot mom (Marisa Tomei) as John C. Reilly (aka Dr. Steve Brule) finds out when he starts a-courtin’ her. I hear that this one is a winner in an uncomfortably funny kind of way.

Despicable Me – Animated fare about a mad evil genius and his horde of minions who have grand designs on stealing the moon. For kids and adults who like kids films (weirdoes :)). Also on Blu Ray.

The Other Guys – The hilarious Marky Mark joins brooding and handsome Will Farrell in this action funny thing about cops and, ah who cares what it’s about. It is about the funny dudes doin’ funny shit. Also on Blu Ray.

Mesrine- Killer Instinct – True story biopic of one of France’s most notorious criminals played by the always watch-able Vincent Cassel. This is the first of a two part movies series. The next installment hits the shelves in a couple of weeks. Word on the street has it to be nothing short of excellent. Also on Blu Ray.

Metropia – Ultra-cool looking animated film from Europe set in the not-to-distant future about some guy on the run in a large underground train system. (At least that’s what I could make out of the description).

Nanny McPhee Returns – Nanny Mcphee returns from somewhere.

24 Season 8 – The last season (or day of you’re counting) of Jack Bauer torturing the citizens of the US on his quest for the holy grail or something.

And Hitting the Shelves on the 17th

The Town – Ben Affleck is 2 for 2 as a director in this most excellent crime thriller about cops and robbers and stuff set in Boston. Now if only he’d stay behind the camera. Also on Blu Ray.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga Hoole – Say that three times fast. Animated family thing about owls and owl legends and owl rivalries and all things owl I suppose. There was a large grey owl in the park near my house the other day. Just sayin’. Directed by Zack Snyder (Watchmen, 300). Also on Blu Ray.

Olde Stuff Just In

Tropic of Cancer – Rip Torn as Henry Miller, need I say more?

Recently Viewed and Recommended

  • Please Give
  • Mesrine
  • The Town
  • Cyrus
  • Winter’s Bone
  • Valhalla Rising
  • Winnebago Man
  • Exit Through the Gift Shop


Love this! It’s Christmasy and it is a great way to leave a job at the same time…

Here is a interesting article about movie trailers and how some of them might be misleading…

If you can read this please do, it is quite darn funny!

The First Weekend Club want you to know about the now Bruce McDonald film, Trigger.

That is it for this week dear readers. Be safe. Watch movies.

Black Dog Video

Black Dog Video

Black Dog Newsletter for Week Ending November 29th

What happened? I leave town for a short spell and I come back to find the place in a deep freeze! I feel like a parent who left their kid at home alone for the weekend only to come home and find the place trashed. Oh well, the trip down yonder (Mexico) was quite enjoyable and much needed. I’ll have all the details, the ups and downs and craziness in my blog that, I hope, is almost ready to go. Right, Larry?

On a sadder note, the end of an era is fast approaching…the one and only Melinda at the Cambie store is leaving the nest for bigger and brighter (spell check for bigger came up with beige which I though was funny) things. She has been with us for almost eleven years and her last day will be next Tuesday. Next week’s newsletter will be a roast, if you will, a eulogy for a friend. I imagine that many of you have gotten to know her over the years and if you’d like to contribute a story or whatever, send me an email and we’ll include it, if it’s in good taste, next week. Until then, drop in and say hello/goodbye. I’m pretty sure that she will be open to accept gifts. Flowers, booze, foot rubs, job offers are just some examples of things she likes.

On another sad note, Art’s Flowers on Cambie is closing their doors after 18 years in that location. I believe that they are having a blowout sale which might actually end today. The strip sure has changed since we opened up almost 15 years ago. We are amongst the longest serving businesses on Cambie now. Let’s hope we can remain for a while to come.

Oh and also we just received a fresh shipment of new films for sale at the Cambie Store – Good deal – One for $6 or two for $10 plus HST. And I promise there are better titles than the last batch. Come on in and buy some films, it will make you feel better!

New Releases for Tuesday November 23rd

Chaser – Crazy sounding, and very well received, Korean thriller about a former detective, who is now a pimp, (hey everyone at some point may be facing a career change, ahem) who has a couple of his girls go missing and has to track them down. Sounds coolio.

Countdown to Zero – Fun doc about the escalating nuclear arms race. Wait a minute, I thought that after the Soviet Union collapsed that the nuclear issue wasn’t really an issue anymore. Don’t we have enough to worry about with climate change, economic depression, peak oil, dwindling water, over population, poison monkeys, hobos with shotguns, the internets and all of that without the stupid nuclear dealy rearing its ugly head again? Sheesh, why do we bother?

Eat Pray Love – Man, the title of this film just gives me the shivers and the creeps. I guess there is some eating and praying and living going on. After that I don’t know much, or care, what this is about but I think it has Julia Roberts and all of her ample teeth in it.

Exit Through the Gift Shop – One of the best titles of the year hits the DVD shelves! Its about some guys trying to locate elusive street artist Banksy only to have Bansky make a film about them or something along those lines. Supposed to be brilliant and I can’t wait to see it.

The Expendables – I will admit having a bit of a soft spot for the 80’s action films. That’s why I’m looking forward to seeing the stars of those films – Stallone, Lundgren, Willis, Rourke, Jet Li and a bunch of other guys in all of their geriatric glory blow a lot of shit up and shoot a lot of dudes. Guilty pleasure? What’s to be guilty about if you really enjoy it? And what, they couldn’t get Segal? Also on Blu-Ray (it’s – the blu-ray – a bit late so hopefully sometime this week)

Flipped – Rob (Hey remember me? I directed Spinal Tap!) Reiner directs this tender (yech! can’t believe I just said tender without referring to meat) coming of age story based on a book written by an author. Word has it that its actually supposed to be pretty good.

I’m Still Here – Here’s the infamous fake doc (or is it fake? Hmm! Hmm?) about Joaquin Phoenix’s “breakdown” where he claims to have forgone acting to pursue his real love – becoming a famous rap star. Remember the David Letterman appearance last year? Looks like another good one to check out this week.

Liberte – Another gypsy film from Tony Gatliff about a band of gypsies (told you!) who travel around France during WWII and are followed by a young boy whose parents never returned home.

Winnebago Man – Here’s the one I want to see the most this week (so much catching up to do!). Its a doc about the infamous dude whose rants and swearing as he was doing commercials for his Winnebago business became the stuff of legends (internet legends that is). Check out this clip from the you-tubes if you’re not familiar with him or even if you are...

The Winning Season – The great Sam Rockwell stars in this sports comedy about a washed up dude given a chance for redemption when offered to coach a girls high school basket team. Ann no, its not what you think, perverts.

Stuff from last week that didn’t get a mention…(sorry no time to review/mock/praise these titles)

  • Avatar – Special edition (Commercial St only for now) Blu Ray and DVD
  • Robogeisha
  • Aaah! Zombies
  • Four Faced Liar
  • Sherlock Season 1
  • Lottery Ticket
  • The Kids are Alright
  • The Extra Man
  • Cats and Dogs 2
  • Disney’s A Christmas Carol

Coming Next Week

  • Valhalla Rising
  • Going the Distance
  • The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
  • Knight and Day
  • Vampire’s Suck
  • Cargo
  • Trash Humpers
  • Cat Dancers
  • Jean Michel Basquiat:Radiant Child

Recently Viewed and Recommended (Well I haven’t seen much lately but here is some things I’ve seen and others that have been recommended to me)

  • The Kids are Alright
  • Scott Pilgrim vs the World
  • Please Give
  • Chaser
  • Exit Through the Gift Shop
  • Winnebago Man
  • Sherlock Season 1
  • Avatar Special Edition
  • Antichrist
  • Californication Season 3

And the Internets says!

So I just returned from Mexico – great place to visit but I have to say getting there and coming home is quite the ordeal. We had a connection flight both ways in Phoenix. The airline – US Air is just dreadful – basically shoe-horned into my seat which was broken and wouldn’t recline. It was hot and stuffy, no food to even buy! They are so hurting/cheap that you have to pay for checked luggage, pay for a fucking pillow if you wanted one and everything else in-between . I ordered a beer – $7 US dollars and it was only 11.2 ounces! Anyways amidst all my griping and complaining (which I like to do – wait for the blog!) I got to thinking of this great Louis CK clip I saw from a couple of years back. Check it out –

We are going to be selling tickets for an upcoming film at the great DOXA film fest that looks pretty amazing. Check it out here…

Here’s the November newsletter for our friends over at the First Weekend Club…

If you want to buy the latest Adrien Brody film (which one?) you may have trouble as he’s still owed some dough and a judge has banned the selling of it. Its that new Dario Argento film Giallo (yes, you can rent it at Black Dog). Here’s what The Onion had to say about it – The ruling contends that Brody is is “suffering, and will continue to suffer, immediate and irreparable harm” until the injunction is put into effect. Meanwhile, Giallo is still temporarily available for sale through Amazon for only $19.49, (and for rent at BD as mentioned) in case “making Adrien Brody suffer” is on your own Christmas wish list. Buy it now before the “Special Court-Ordered Edition” is released, with a black box covering Brody’s face and all of his lines dubbed by Cheech Marin.

Thanks everyone for reading and remember that next week its all Melinda, all the time!

Black Dog Video

New Gusism

Gus aka Elray is my kid. He is now 5 years old. I started jotting down some of the funny and, of course, profound things that he says. These are some quotes culled from the last year or so…

Gus: “Hey Dad, why are we made of meat?”

We were watching a hockey game the other night – Toronto vs St. Louis. Gus says to me, “Dad, who are you going for, the flags or the music?” (Its funny if you know what the two teams crests look like.

Tami (rubbing the back of her neck) “I could really use a massage right about now” Gus: “What’s a massage?” Tami:” It is when someone rubs your neck” Gus proceeds to walk over to her and then vigorously rub her throat.

Gus: “Cat! Cat, get off the tiles! Cat, get off the tiles!!…Cat, eat that silver fish!”

Gus: “I could either barf or go to the washroom. I choose go the washroom!”

Gus somehow got himself wedged between the sofa and ottoman with his ass sticking in the air (don’t ask) “Dad, this is not very dignified!”

Tami (walking on the side of the road in Mexico): “Gus, what am I going to have to do to make stop this whining?!” Gus (nonchalant): “I dunno, punch me in the throat?”

Gus: “I wish I was dead already, so I wouldn’t have to eat boring food!”

Me: hey Gus, what did you wish for at the fountain, world peace?” Gus “Yep…I mean the World Cup.”

Things I never thought I’d say: “Yes Gus, it is hard to kill a fruit fly with a light saber”. “Alright Master Jedi, where would you like to eat your tofu hot dog?”

Elray thought it would be funny to sneak a cherry tomato from the garden into my back pocket. You can guess what happened after that..

Me – “Knock Knock” Tami – “Who’s There?” Me – “Al”, Tami – “Al Who” Me: “Alcoholic”, Tami: “Alcoholic who?” Gus :” Alcoholic You”

Gus (after pressing a bunch of buttons on the calculator) “There, now is it the right time?”

Watching the Empire Strikes Back with Gus “Dad, where has The Force gone? Is it in his pocket?”

Gus (while aiming a water gun at me): “Are you ready for a moment of your life?”

Gus: “Wow, that guy got kicked right in the heart!”

Gus: “Dad you shouldn’t say fuck”

Gus wanted to go to the corner store by himself. Tami secretly followed. He spotted her hiding behind the chips. He points at her and shouts (in a store full of people) “Hey you! Get outta here!”

Gus: (upon seeing the neighbors cat who had snuck into our house) “Hey, the cat got bigger!”

Thinking it was a nice heart shaped candy, Gus ate some soap.

Gus: (getting mad because Tami wouldn’t help him put on his socks) “Dad helps me, he does lots of things, all you do is lay around the house!”

Gus: “I used to know how to do this button up, but I lost my mind”.

Driving yesterday I got cut off and I muttered “Nice move, you weasel!” Gus from the back seat chimed in “Ya nice move, you easewel!

Gus: “Hey! Time Out! (making the time-out “T” gesture) I’m trying to watch golf!”

Me: “Gus eat your lunch, please” Gus (all upset) “Dad, you’re breaking my life!” Me:” I am, am I?” Gus (more upset) “Yes! You’re breaking my world!”

Walking by the park I heard a couple of hobos chatting; “Hey man, I here that Zeus has some wine down at the lake!” Ok, not a Gus quote but funny all the same.

Gus” Mama, can I have some spinach?” Tami “Yes Gus, of course” Gus “Whoo-hoo! I get spinach! I get spinach!”

Me: (after measuring Gus) “Hey Gus, you’re 42 inches!” Julius : “That’s almost three and a half feet!” Gus: “I don’t have three and a half feet!”

Gus: “Mom can you buy me some more money?”

Gus: “twinkle twinkle little star, man we have a dirty car.”

Gus: “I’m going to get me a job at the library, make some money and buy me a key chain!”

Gus: Hey Dad, you don’t plant eggs to grow eggplants do you?

Gus: “I hope the one with the torch wins!”

Gus: (after I pull him out of the bath) , “Jesus, I’m cold!”

Me: “Hey Gus, where’s Nanny?” Gus: “Oh, she’s just out having a butt. Having a smoke”

Gus: “I like number 5!” Me: ” You know what his name is? Erhoff.” Gus: ” I love the Erhoff!”

Gus: “Dad, do sheep have brains?” Me: “Um, yeah”. Gus: “Do they have bones?” Me: “Of course.” Gus: “Well how come Shaun the sheep never has to go to the doctor?”

Gus: “Hey Dad I just saw some birds flying.” Me: “Oh ya, where do you think that they were going?” Gus: “Africa.” Me: “That’s kind of far don’t you think?” Gus: “They can handle it”

Me: “Hey Gus if we get a cat, what should we name it?” Gus: ” I dunno, Kuntel? Me: “Um…” Gus: “Or Pork Hand?”

Gus: “Where’s mom? Me: “She’s still in bed” Gus: “Is she dead?”

Gus: Hey Dad, I saw a monkey cooking once! Me: Oh really? Where? Gus: The Main St parking lot (?!) with Mom. Me: Really? What was he making? Gus: Potatoes.

Should I find it amusing that Elray wants to name his new stuffed owl Pooter?

Me “Gus don’t try to put stuff in my eyes.” Gus “But its just my finger”.

Me: “Gus stop blowing that whistle!” Gus: “But I’m the police and the police can do whatever they want”.